Send Help, I'm Having a Mid-life Crisis

So I'm an adult. But not like, an adult adult.

I recently saw a TikTok of a guy talking about this concept. A lot of us 30-something millennials feel like this. Our 30's are not our parent's 30's. And there are many reasons for this. We were raised differently, for one thing. We grew up with the internet and the transition into social media. We are old enough to remember 911 and the effect it had on America. We were told we had to go to college but then the world said 'no jobs without experience'. We entered the job market just as it crashed and burned. We're often accused of being dreamers who just want a handout even though we've been in the workforce for 15-20 years at this point. So, yeah, it's not easy. But I suppose every generation suffers somehow.

Millennial criticism aside, I'm having my own personal crisis. It has been a frustrating year and, too, full of things I should probably be more grateful for. But what is this blog for, if not complaining?

Let's talk about one of the major thorns in my side, cabinets.

Flash back to July 2024. I decided that I was finally ready to get new kitchen cabinets. I started looking into options and decided to call a friend of my dad's who builds cabinets. He had actually built my parent's cabinets 30 years ago and does good work. So I call and set up a meeting with him and his wife. We meet and discuss what I am thinking. (I used the Ikea kitchen builder to make a mockup so they could get the full picture of what was happening in my brain.) 

Aside: Around the same time I was also planning a makeover of my entire living room (due in part to a water leak that required new sheetrock be installed on one wall), dining room, & kitchen, including painting. I built a mood board and everything! Back to this later.

After our initial meeting, I went on vacation. They were supposed to get me a quote, and I finally received their email in August. At this point, I knew the cost and began strategizing on how to get the money I needed. I decided that I would take out a loan (or rather, take out an additional loan) and use that money to pay off my current loan, credit card and have enough for the new cabinets. (Also note, my parents did give me money for Christmas that year that I also put aside for the cabinets.)

Then, a couple of things happened. Dragon Con came late August/September (where the attitude is 'here, take my money'), and October was nuts (my car was hit- more on that later, and my grandma had a stroke - she's mostly okay now, but it was a rough month). When November rolled around, I finally shifted focus back to the cabinets. I reached back out and they came by for another meeting. We finalized some details and I asked them if the cabinets would be installed before the holidays. They told me it could be before Christmas but, if not, it would be at the first of the year. 

Over the next few weeks, I figured out a lot of the details and proceeded to make quite a few purchases. I bought a dishwasher, a new sink and faucet, a vent hood, drawer organizers and hardware for the cabinets. I picked the color and started checking into my options for new countertops. 

November also marked the month of makeover. Like I mentioned before, I had planned to work on the entire space. I bought paint and painted the entire big room, including the staircase (I risked my life doing that, let me tell you). I gave my old bookshelves to a friend, installed new wall shelves, and re-organized my books. I made plans to move my grandma's piano in from storage. 

And this is where things get squirrely. 

I decided, in my makeover educed drunken state, that I would go ahead and remove all of my old kitchen cabinets so that I could paint the kitchen. After all, they said the cabinets would be installed by January. In my delulu mind, everything would probably be complete in time for me to put out Christmas decorations.....

My dad and I pulled out all of the upper cabinets and the pantry, leaving only the lower cabinet under the kitchen sink and the standalone lower cabinet next to the stove. I emptied every cabinet and placed everything on and around my dining room table. I made a disastrous mess, but it was okay! It wouldn't be there long. I finished painting and then...

December faded into January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August. And guess the hell what? I still do not have new kitchen cabinets. 

I cannot begin to express the frustration I have at not only them, but myself. I have not had kitchen cabinets for 8 months (and counting), my dining room is still a mess and now I've had to spend some of my cabinet money on my car (another pain point). If I could go back in time to pre-Thanksgiving me, I would tell her 'no ma'am, do not tear those cabinets down for you will never get new ones'.

I won't bore you with all of the reasons I have been given, but it sums up to 'you're at the bottom of the priority list'. I've reached the point too where I feel like I can't afford the cabinets I want and am probably going to have to settle for basic bitch cabinets like I had before.

Now let us discuss my car. As previously stated, my car was hit, sideswiped actually, back in October. I had to pay my $500 deductible to get it fixed (which took three weeks) even though the accident was not my fault. (I didn't get the money back until March.) During this three weeks, I had to borrow my grandma's old Lincoln town car (which felt like driving a submarine after driving a Fusion for so long) with no air conditioning because the lady's insurance company wouldn't pay for me a rental car and I didn't have rental coverage on my policy. 

But now the car trouble is behind us! Isn't it?

In December, as I am driving home from work, a deer runs directly into the side of my car (in the exact spot the lady hit me) and does worse damage than before. I, once again, have to pay my deductible but this time I'm not getting it back (apparently deer are not insured, inconsiderate). And, once again, I do not have a car for three weeks. And if you are asking yourself, 'well didn't you add the rental coverage to your policy?', hush.

But that will be all for car trouble, right? RIGHT?

In February, my transmission goes out. I have, by this point, added rental coverage. Alas, mechanical issues to do not qualify. This time, I have to pay $5,000 to get my car fixed. And here we reach the second biggest regret of this past year (actually, this is probably the biggest just the second to happen). 

At the time, I didn't have any plans to get a new car. I had my car paid off and hadn't had any problems with it (prior to October). So I delved into my cabinet funds and got the transmission fixed. After, ONCE AGAIN, not having a car for three weeks, I get it back only to discover it it making weird noises. The transmission people say it is something else.

And I may could have fought them on it or got a second opinion but, by now, I had had enough and didn't want to put any more money into the car. I considered my options, car shopped and made a decision. In May, I purchased a new car and traded in my old car. I got $2,000 for the trade-in, putting me in the hole for $3,000. I am glad I got the new car, aside from the now $800 car payment (sad), but I wish I had just traded in my car with the faulty transmission and took what they gave me. Hindsight and all that.

So here I sit, in August, not really knowing what my next steps should be. Should I just forget the kitchen cabinets for now and try to put more money back? I wanted to re-do my floors, but that seems like a bad idea until the cabinets are done. And then there's the part of me that says I should move out of my parent's basement and find my own place. The problem with that of course being the fact that everything is incredibly expensive right now and I don't have the money to live alone. And I really don't want a roommate.

I can't help but feel like a child. I'm not-so-slowly approaching 40, I live at home, I'm not married, I have no kids, no prospects on the horizon. Is the reason I don't feel like an adult because I'm not independent enough? Though some may deny it, I feel like people have always seen me more as a sidekick than a main character (although my teenage cousin did tell me once that I had main character energy), first to one cousin, then another. I've never really felt like I could stand on my own.

What else is wrong?

I'm having a bit of a crisis of faith. I feel like my values just aren't lining up with the church's in a lot of ways. I can't decide if I am somehow being punished by God, by the world, or by myself. 

I think I have become a liberal, which is not a bad thing, but is something a lot of conservative people I know would be aghast to hear. But I also don't think I'm a good one because I don't stand up for things that much. #whiteprivilege 

I want to be a good friend, but I feel like I fail a lot. I want to stand up for myself and others, but I often don't because it's easier not to. I may die without ever haven fallen in love, because that it easier too.

I can't seem to lose weight (I've gained 20 pounds and two pants sizes in the past 5 years) even though I go to the gym at least three days a week and don't eat that bad. I've tried counting calories and meal planning, but I suck at it.

One thing that has improved in the last year is my job. I was finally offered a new position (not exactly a promotion though it felt like it). I have my own office now, which may be a small thing but makes me feel more adult than anything else in my life. I had this wild thought that the new job would somehow change the trajectory of my life. It hasn't.

I'm not sure what I think will fix my problems. The scary thing is, the answer is probably me. And she does not run a tight ship.

Or maybe I should just be grateful for what I have and stop whining about it.

2023 Reading Progress Update

We've made it to the halfway point of 2023, so I thought I would do a reading progress update. How have I done so far? Am I well on my way to achieving my goals? As a matter of fact, yes! I'm actually kind of killing it.

• Read 27 books- As stated, my goal was to read 27 books this year. So far, I've read 50. So yeah, killing it.
• Listen to more audio books- I have actually listened to quite a few audio books this year. More than any other format actually. This goal has most definitely been met.
• Read more fantasy- I have read a few fantasy novels this year, but I'm going to hold off on checking this one off the list for now.
• Read books I already own- This is a goal I can't in good faith say I have met. I have read a few books I already owned prior to this year, but not many. Still a WIP.

As for the TBR, I've marked two off the list. Two of the others are not out yet. So that only leaves one I could have read but haven't. Not too bad.

1. The Green Mile- Stephen King 
2. Confessions of a Shopaholic
3. The Stolen Heir- Holly Black 
4. A Curse For True Love- Stephanie Garber 
5. The Brother's Hawthorne- Jennifer Lynn Barnes

So yes, the progress has been good so far. Fingers crossed that I can keep it up for the rest of the year. I also decided to make pie charts to show the various formats and genres I've read because why not?

Reading Goals and My TBR for 2023

Welcome to 2023, a year that has thus far not been good to me. But I'm trying to remain hopeful that it will improve. I'm not making a ton of new year's resolutions, but I do have a few goals when it comes to reading. 

If history has proven anything, it is that I am not very good at reading challenges. I have attempted to complete several over the years (you know those challenges that are like 'read a book with plants on the cover' or 'read a book by a German author', etc.) and have never succeeded. And I've realized that this is largely because in order to complete such a challenge, I have to force myself to read books that I am not interested in. And that is not motivating. So I've decided, at least for now, that I will not be participating in any online reading challenges. Instead I am sticking only to my personal reading goals.

I started my 2023 reading journey by deciding to joining Book of the Month Club. I'd heard about this subscription service for a while, but I never really checked it out until recently. I decided why not try it out for a year and see how it goes. My first book is currently on its way.

If you read my post about books I read in 2022, you may know that last year I really only had two goals. But since I didn't meet them, I am shifting some of them over to this year. Plus I have a few new goals as well.

• Read 27 books- This goal I am pulling in from last year. I didn't do terribly in 2022, I did read 21 books. But since I haven't yet reached 27, I'm leaving my goal there for this year.
• Listen to more audio books- Prior to 2023, I have only actually ever listened to 9 1/2 audio books. Which sounds like quite a few until you note that 7 of those were Harry Potter books and 2 1/2 were A Song of Ice and Fire books. This year, I want to listen to more audio books in different genres. I spend almost 7 hours a week in my car driving to and from work and that is time I could be listening to a book instead of 1,000 commercials on the radio.
• Read more fantasy- I recently discovered the world of fantastical books and I would love to read more in this genre. I can't say why I haven't read much fantasy in the past, but I am game to explore it moving forward.
• Read books I already own. I have so many books on my shelves that I have never read. I'm not going to specify a certain number, but I want to read more of these instead of only buying new books.

My TBR's for 2023

1. The Green Mile- Stephen King : Moved over from last year, I want to read this novel I have owned for quite some time. 
2. Confessions of a Shopaholic- Sophie Kinsella : Also moved from last year's list, this chick lit series is one I've been wanting to dip my not-even-close-to-Jimmy Choo's in.
3. The Stolen Heir- Holly Black : This new release is set in the magical world of Elfhame and is a spinoff of The Cruel Prince books. I'm interested to read it and see how it compares to its predecessor. 
4. A Curse For True Love- Stephanie Garber : The final book in the Once Upon a Broken Heart series and probably my most anticipated book of 2023.
5. The Brother's Hawthorne- Jennifer Lynn Barnes : A new book in the world of the Inheritance Games will also arrive this year. I'm nervous but excited because I love me some Jameson Hawthorne.

I'm sure more books will interest me in the coming year, but those are my top picks to read in 2023. Wish me luck on my reading journey!

Books I Read in 2022

 I had two reading goals in 2022.

-Read 27 books (27 is my lucky number)

-Read 5 specific books (I now know this is called a TBR or to be read list)

I accomplished neither 100% but, despite that, I actually read more than I did in 2021. Having discovered the worlds of BookTube, BookTok and InstaBook, I have added more books to my Amazon book list than ever before. I also signed back into Goodreads for the first time in forever and logged my 2022 reads. Dare I say, I am on a roll?

I have made reading goals for 2023 (and created a TBR) and I plan to share those in a separate post. But first, I wanted to talk a bit about the books I read last year and what I thought of them. I rated all of the books below on a scale of 1-5. I wanted to note that my ratings are not comparing these books to each other necessarily, but to other books in their same genres or to similar books I've read.

I didn't do terribly on my first goal. I actually read 21 books last year. But of the five I said I would read, I only actually read one. 

On my TBR for 2022 were the following:

1. Confessions of a Shopaholic- Sophie Kinsella
2. Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore- Robin Sloan
3. Ready Player One- Ernest Cline
4. The Green Mile- Stephen King
5. The Secret Adversary- Agatha Christie

As previously stated, I only read one of these books. I'll start with that one.

Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan

My Rating: 3/5

Synopsis: This story follows a man working the night shift at a 24-hour bookstore. While working here, he uncovers mysterious information about his eccentric boss as well as a very old secret society.

Review: I actually started reading this book back in 2015. And, I'm going to be honest, I bought this book because I thought it was about a magic bookstore. It is not. In fact, there is no magic to be found in this book. Not in the supernatural sense anyway. There is some adventuring and secrets to be uncovered but, overall, it wasn't my favorite. It took me 7 years to finish it, if that tells you anything. It wasn't a bad book, perse, and I didn't hate it, but it was a little slow for me and just didn't keep me invested until right at the end. I really had to make myself finish this one.

Verity- Colleen Hoover

My Rating: 5/5

Synopsis: This book is about a woman who accepts a job as a ghost writer for a popular author named Verity, who has had a mysterious accident and can no longer write. While going through Vertiy's office to find notes on the books she is writing, the woman finds an unpublished manuscript Verity wrote. As she reads the manuscript, lines between fiction and reality start to blur.

Review: This book was insane. And I loved it. It was bizarre and sometimes I wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't. This book may not be for everyone, and it does come with a lot of trigger warnings, but I was intrigued, disturbed and a little freaked out reading this book. I thought it was great.

It Ends With Us- Colleen Hoover

My Rating: 3/5

Synopsis: It Ends With Us follows a woman in past and present as she deals with domestic abuse, both as a witness and then as a victim herself.

Review: This book was fine. I can appreciate what she was trying to do, which was to give one perspective on domestic abuse (as she witnessed growing up). As you might suspect, the book was not a happy one. I didn't really like the way the past portion was written (though it was unique I will admit) and I couldn't root for the the romance (not the abusive one obviously, but there was another). I realize you are not supposed to be happy reading a book like this, but I just didn't enjoy reading it.  As of now I don't plan to read the sequel and I fear Colleen's other books are more like this one than Verity.

The Inheritance Games, The Hawthorne Legacy, The Final Gambit- Jennifer Lynn Barnes

My Rating: 5/5

Synopsis: After losing her mother, teenager Avery Graham is struggling through high school. Until, that is, she receives an invitation to the reading of a billionaire's will. Much to the surprise and dismay of his family, the old man has left everything to Avery. But why? 

Review: I am grouping these books together because that is how I think of them. Growing up, one of my dreams was to be in a mansion with secret passages. (Anyone remember that episode of Saved by the Bell where Lisa was hiding behind the fireplace?) I also love puzzles and riddles and mysteries. Basically, this series was right up my alley. I really enjoyed these books and loved the characters (I was especially partial to Jameson Hawthorne). This is honestly one of my favorite young adult series I've ever read.

Truly Devious, The Vanishing Stair, The Hand on the Wall & The Box in the Woods - Maureen Johnson

My Rating: 4.5/5

Synopsis: This series follows Stevie Bell, a new student at the elite Ellingham Academy. Stevie wants to be a detective and is determined to solve the mystery of what happened at the academy years before. But as she investigates this old mystery, a new one arises a little too close to home.

Review: This series was actually recommended to me by someone at work after I mentioned to them I loved the Inheritance Games series. The first three books were part of the initial series and the Box in the Woods was more of a standalone. But, once again, I felt the need to group them all together. I do really like these books (though not quite as much as IG). I enjoyed the mystery elements and the twists along the way. Stevie reminds me a bit of Charlotte Holmes, if you've read that series. Very enjoyable young adult mysteries.

A Good Girl's Guide to Murder- Holly Jackson

My Rating: 4/5

Synopsis: Pip has to do a project for school and decides to pick a local murder mystery. As she digs into this cold case, she discovers more than she bargained for.

Review: Along the same lines as the previously mentioned young adult mysteries, I read the first book in the Good Girl's Guide to Murder series. I haven't read the others yet, but this was actually the last book I read in 2022. I did like this series, but I don't love it so far. I probably will read the next book because I'm curious about some details. I liked the way the story was told, but I wasn't crazy about the ending of the book.

The Cruel Price, The Wicked King, The Queen of Nothing, How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories - Holly Black

My Rating: 4.5/5

Synopsis: This series follows Jude, a human girl living in the magical world of Elfhame. Jude's goal in life is to prove herself to the supernatural world, but prince Carden's seems to be to make her life miserable.

Review: This was one of the first (If not the first? I can't remember another at this moment.) young adult fantasy series I've read and I really liked it. It was strange at first, getting past the tails and fur and caps soaked with blood, but you get used to it. Jude made a lot of questionable decisions throughout, but that was to be expected. The Wicked King was probably my favorite of the series but I liked them all. Overall I really enjoyed it and do plan to read Holly Black's newest book coming out in 2023.

The Ballad of Never After- Stephanie Garber

My Rating: 5/5

Synopsis: The 2nd book in the Once Upon a Broken Heart series follows Evangeline and Jacks as they encounter another, more murderous, curse. And try to ignore the feelings that are creeping in.

Review: I love this series so far. There is one more book coming out in 2023 and I can't wait to read it. Jacks is a great anti-hero and I just can't help but love him despite his treacherous ways. If you haven't read the first book, definitely start there. In fact, if you haven't read Stephanie Garber's other series Caraval, give it a read first. It is not strictly necessary, but helpful. Also that series is amazing and one of my favorites.

The Night Circus- Erin Morgenstern

My Rating: 4/5

Synopsis: The circus comes at night. Two magicians have been training their whole lives for an ultimate showdown. But the problem is, they don't know who their opponent is. They only know where their battle will take place. At the Night Circus.

Review: This was a book I saw recommended by a BookTuber. It sounded like something I would be interested in and it pretty much was. It was a bit of a slow build for my taste, and parts were confusing, but overall I enjoyed the book. It wasn't what I expected but I like how everything came together in the end.

The Ex Hex- Erin Sterling

My Rating: 4/5

Synopsis: When Vivienne's boyfriend broke her heart, she decided to put a hex on him. A fake hex of course. But nine years later, when Ryhs comes back to town, he finds himself dealing with strange happenings. It's almost like...he's cursed.

Review: Moving into the realm of chicklit, this was a fun, easy, magical read. If you like chicklit and a little witchery, you will enjoy this book.

Escort Girl- Stephanie Bond

My Rating: 4/5

Synopsis: This serial novel focuses on Ester, the daughter of two formerly rich parents. Ester, desperate for a job, finds employment at a PR firm as an escort. No, not that kind of escort. She picks up clients and accompanies them to meetings and events, making sure they arrive on time and put their best face forward. But what happens when one of her clients is murdered?

Review: I enjoy Stephanie Bond's serial novels. She has been releasing them since 2016. If you are not familiar with a serial, it just means the story is released in parts. In this case, a new chapter is released every day from July 1 - December 31 on her website. Or, you can purchase one month at a time from the Kindle store at the first of each month. This wasn't my favorite of the serials she has done, but I did enjoy it.

The Club- Ellery Lloyd

My Rating: 4/5

Synopsis: Island Home is the latest opening for the Home Company, which specializes in privacy and finery for the most elite celebrities. Told from four perspectives, this book spans the opening weekend of Island Home and some mysterious deaths that take place. No one is who they seem to be.

Review: This book started really slow for me. In fact, it was slow up until the last quarter of the book. It was hard to get into this book and I kept getting two of the characters mixed up almost the entire time. I did like the eventual reveals and there were many plot twists. It just took way too long to get there. I thought the book was well written and I understand why all of the details were put in, it was just very slow for me personally.

The Guest List- Lucy Foley

My Rating: 3.5/5

Synopsis: The story, told from 5 perspectives, follows characters over a wedding weekend on a secluded island. Along the way, someone is murdered, and everyone has a secret that could make them the prime suspect.

Review: Being a Reese's book club book might make you think I would rate it higher. But I just can't do it. I did enjoy the mystery, though the present day parts were a bit drawn out, and there were good twists. But what I didn't like were the characters. Honestly, by the end of the book, I wished almost all of them would be murdered. There were only two characters I liked and everyone else sucked big time. I was so annoyed by the time I finished the book, I couldn't even focus on the actual murder. 

So there you have it. All of the books I read in 2022. Overall, I had a decent reading year and didn't totally despise anything I read. Hopefully, I can keep reading more in 2023.

Riverdale 5-Episode Event

 Here we go, one more time, everybody's feeling... unsure. But here we go nonetheless.

Rivervale? Is that like Sunnyvale? Is Tyra Banks here somewhere?

It was all a dream?!

Can you really declare a dead deer a crime scene?

Cheryl, I just can't anymore.

Why are we talking to the medical examiner about a baby?

I don't know that Cameron is wrong, tho.

Reggie is not convinced and neither am I.

You never kill spiders? That is not how I live my life.

Babies? I feel like this got serious very quickly.

Okay, but also... last time two characters on a show I watched talked about how they had plenty of time to have babies one of them died.  

So we have exactly one doctor who does all the things or what?

Leaving a baby in the woods is never a good idea, seriously. What if it gets eaten? Or freezes to death? Or any number of other things?

Making love on a bed of money seems very unsanitary.

Reggie ain't putting up with this BS. Good for him.

It's not you, it's me. Classic.

So is Cheryl somehow causing everyone problems to manipulate them into taking weird potions?

I prefer Regeroni.

How can anyone eat that many pancakes? I can't even eat 3.

Everyone is acting so strange. I suspect this is all a dream sequence.

Someone is gong to die, aren't they? 

Are you serious, Clark?

Who is that girl with Reggie? Are we supposed to know her?

Damn, Tabitha. How did you miss that badly?

Is this like that Tik Tok where the girl found an apartment behind her bathroom mirror?

Kind of.

Ghost Polly? Wait, not ghost. A vengeful spirit. Like the Grudge.

Tabitha is gonna kill Jug, isn't she?

Hey, I was right. Vengeful spirit.

I just really don't know what I'm supposed to think about this.

Oh, Mrs. Cradle Robber pt 2.

No longer pregnant? This is just like Midnight Mass.

Is everyone going to die before this arc is over?

If we come back from this weird ass arc and everyone goes back to their high school sweetheart imma be really annoyed.

More ghosts?

Oh, the devil? I prefer Tom Ellis.

People really love this diner, don't they?

Was this guy the devil on Sabrina? I'm looking it up.

Yes he was. I tried watching that show. It was too weird for me. Which is saying something.

Let's all sell our souls to the devil then. Why the hell not? (see what I did there?)

This is why I don't gamble.

Reggie might wanna think about calling the Winchesters.

How did this guy become a senator? 

Oh well.

Selling your girlfriend's soul to the devil is a quick way to end the relationship.

I'm gonna marry...Edward... (I've only ever heard the Hillywood version of this song until now... if you haven't seen their Breaking Dawn parody, you're missing out.)

Reggie is gonna die, isn't he?

Yep.

Witches be crazy.

Are these multi-generational Cheryls drugging people or what?

Blossom women for all women!

This might be the best episode of this weird arc.

Death portraits are disturbing.

It's sad people really used to treat women like this. And still do.

Axe murder!

Or not. Is Abigail just really weak or what?

Sabrina has arrived. I kinda thought she would be in more of this episode but oh well.

Okay, so we're transferring Nana Rose's essence into another body?

Wait... is Nana Rose Abigail? 

Wait... Cheryl is Poppy is Abigail? And now Nana Rose is Cheryl?

Happy sad endings might be the best. 

Hey Archie's back!

Oh, so it was all a dream? 

Or not. I don't know what's going on. What else is new?

This is a paradox. 

Oh yeah, I forgot Reggie was played by a different guy at first. 

All the cameos in this episode.

A Reggie threesome? Good for Roni, not so much for Reggie.

This is kind of a cool episode. 

I always knew Ethel was suspect... and smart.

Jughead and Veronica, saving the world one hookup at a time. 

Ooh twist.

Wait, does this mean Jughead is going to have to kiss Betty? *rolls eyes*

The universe is saved!

And we're back.

Well...that was....something. The last two episodes were better than the others, but I'm just not sure I can say I really liked it. Honestly, I'm not even sure why I'm still watching this show.

Until 2022.

Riverdale Season 5B - Kaboom!

It's August now and Riverdale is back with new episodes. I'm not super excited about it, but of course I will watch. Though I'm sure it will be more of the same ole, same ole, one can always hope. Without further ado, let's get into this thing.

Yes...keep your distance, Varchie. Forever.

Has Betty become a truck driver?

The hillbillies are back. I guess they were in jail?

Just saw a preview for In the Dark. I thought that show was cancelled?

Veronica is still using Reggie? Why am I not surprised?

I hope Jughead and Tabitha become a thing.

Are there really people out there who randomly beat up the homeless for fun? Enjoy hell, assholes.

Was that Reggie on the American Horror Story preview?

Yes.

Oh yeah. Kevin and Fangs broke up. :/

Walkabouts? Who does Jughead think he is? John Locke?

The sad thing is, I bet there are actual people who would join Cheryl's mom's new religion.

Now Roni's using Archie? Also not surprised.

Jughead's ex is something, isn't she?

This girl is going to drug Betty and Tabitha right?

Damn, Jug.

I knew it.

So is she going to steal the manuscript as her own? Probably.

How did they get back to the bunker so easily? Isn't it in the middle of the woods?

Singing and it isn't even a musical.

This is weird.

Why can they not use actual names of places on this show? 

Not again, Cheryl.

Stick to your guns, Archie.

How does the governor not have more protection?

Jughead reminds me of Leonardo DiCaprio in this episode. Something about the facial hair.

Never accept a ride from a trucker on the road where a trucker has been kidnapping people.

Well, now we have to wait a week.

I forgot this show came on Wednesday. So now it's Thursday, but I don't have to watch commercials so yay!

Yeah, why is Hiram so interested in taking over this town? And why do they dress like 50s mobsters?

Look, I just don't think I'd let Reggie be in charge of anything super important.

No offense, but I hope this whole episode isn't about Hiram and Reggie.

I'd like to feel bad for Reggie's dad, but he did used to hit Reggie a lot so you know...

I remember 1988. J/K I was a baby.

I think this episode is all about Hiram and Reggie. Sigh.

The actor playing young Hiram is on point.

I will never 2 straw a milkshake with another person. One, germs. Two, I love milkshakes.

Why are bad guys always eating fancy dinners when they meet with people?

I'm not saying Hermione is a gold digger...

Why would Luna come after Andrews in a class roll call? Isn't that usually done in alphabetical order? There are no other names between those two? Hermione's last name is Gomez right?

The soundtrack to this episode is weird.

The family resemblance on this show is uncanny.

I mean, mob boss gotta know that Hiram knows right?

How did he get blood on him from way over there?

Vino was scared of a teen? Did he only have those three lackies? What?

At least we have some answers.

*sings* He will never be satisfied. 

Okay, this episode was better than I expected.

We really do need to get more help for veterans. 

No Kevin! We already know you are susceptible to cults!

The Right Kind of Wrong is one of my favorite songs.

Moose!

Aw, the dog is traumatized too. :( 

Did Michael Vick move to Riverdale?

I know almost nothing about investing, but are Veronica and Reggie doing something legitimate?

Archie is going on another vigilante mission? I'm shocked.

I danced on a bar once.

I think this guy is a murderer. Should probably get in his truck.

Watching someone die is not great and this guy is definitely a creep if nothing else.

Why do people turn their backs on killers?

Oh damn. Bro gotta chainsaw.

Is that the only car Tabitha has? Because it cannot run that fast.

I feel like if I cruised the woods around my house all I would find is a snake. Maybe a bear.

I think I've heard more musical numbers on this show than any show I've ever watched. 

I miss Jughead. Was Cole Sprouse busy?

Mining is not a safe practice.

Does palladium or whatever make you cray cray?

Oh, gas. Gotcha.

So has Riverdale succeeded from the union or...?

Honestly, I'm just not that interested in this show anymore. I've been quite bored watching it.

Permission to murder granted. Completely legit.

I think Betty really needs to be in the psych ward.

The ME in this town is sketchy as hell.

I really do not like Jug's mustache. 

This rat king thing is dumb.

Did the ninja turtles ever get flooded out you think?

If the tunnels got flooded, then how is all of this stuff still just sitting around?

Art collector, girl, run.

Has the third pussy cat ever spoken before now?

Every time someone goes to law school on TV or in movies it's Harvard. Seems unlikely.

Way to be a jerk, Tyler Perry.

I don't think dude is really fine with not getting married.

How convenient that Josie walks into Pops right after they mention her on the radio.

Is this going to be a musical? Or just an episode with a musical number? It's so hard to tell with this show.

When did Jughead get back?

Josie done with all you fools. Me too, TBH.

Why do people keep coming back to this town?

I'm not sure singing Little Shop of Horrors in your restaurant is the best marketing strategy?

Where did Toni randomly come from? 

Old Navy I guess.

They really didn't have time to get to a hospital?

Did Toni name the baby after her grandfather? Or after herself?

Are they trying to setup a spinoff?

They decorated that bus quick.

I don't know why creepy coroner is now so concerned about doing sketchy things. 

I mean, I get V is peeved at Chad but why would you give up everything you've worked for for a man? No offense to Archie, but he's not that great honestly.

Seriously? We're trying to kill Archie again? Get a new hobby, Hiram.

Chad sucks at killing.

Juice cleanses are hard.

Hiram is one to talk. Like he hasn't also failed to kill Archie before.

You know what I'm tired of? Cults. Varchie. Bughead. Serial killers. Rich people battling over money. Vigilantes. I think I just described this entire show.

Isn't Toni also bi? She did hook up with Jughead once I think.

Of course Archie gets stuck in the mine. Let me guess who is responsible.

As if Eric has not been traumatized enough.

Betty is related to another serial killer? I'm shocked.

If Veronica murders Hiram, I might actually like her more.

This crew has a weird phone tree.

How is it that they don't all know about this mine collapse by now? This isn't a large town and everyone knows everyone else's business.

Great, now Kevin will join Cheryl's cult.

Chad really sucks at killing.

You should have just given up, Chad. Toxic masculinity will get you every time.

BRB, gotta go grab some moonshine.

Always watch where you're walking. Who knows when there might be a bear trap.

I know Veronica kind of hated Chad, but she is taking killing him very well. They were married for like 6 years right?

I honestly figured Polly was alive. I'm glad she isn't though. I don't like when shows take the easy way out.

Is Next to Normal a real play?

Yes.

Man, I missed Charles' face.

No offense, but I hope Varchie living together goes terribly.

How shitty of a person do you have to be to kick your teenage kid out for being gay? And right after they have literally just been kidnapped by serial killers?

Toni and Fangs are definitely taking this kid in right?

Ooh, pretend boyfriend. I like it.

Ooh, real boyfriend. I like it more.

I think I might actually like this Next to Normal musical, even though I imagine it is sadder than this episode.

I think V is finally realizing she and Archie want different things. Something I have known all along.

With Cheryl? That seems like a terrible idea.

Are there really going to be no consequences for Veronica killing Chad?

"We're not in high school anymore." THANK YOU! 

I think Lili Reinhart would be a good on Broadway.

So are Toni and Fangs in love? Or just love each other like family? Either way I'm cool with it.

I think this might be my favorite episode of the season so far.

Okay, so I don't typically comment on the previews but next week is the season finale and it looked a lot like Veronica was kissing Reggie and Betty was kissing Archie. I'm on board.

I checked Twitter, because that is how I confirm things, and the people agree with me. And by the people I mean some people but we're not going to talk about the haters. 

I also discovered some people call Reggie and Veronica ReggiRoni and that is spectacular.

I don't think their selves was the scariest thing the kids in IT had to face.

When did Betty have time to finish her FBI training? Wasn't she suspended?

Okay, calling Veronica a Black Widow isn't fair. She's only killed one husband.

It might be a little soon for Tughead (?) to move in together. 

Sabotage! 

Does this mean no more milkshakes? 

I bet Archie has always wanted to kick in a door.

Counselor by day, torturer by night. 

Murder plot!

That answers the milkshake question.

Maybe y'all should run instead of make out since you just torched a building?

I still can't decide if Toni and Fangs are in love or not?

I'm a little bummed they didn't kill Hiram, but I do like how they all banded together against him. 

The Blossom's are a bizarre family. Witches now?

How did Abigail write about her death in her journal?

Cheryl is overreacting big time.

Well that was easy.

And I find myself asking again... is there magic?

I knew all of this relationship swapping was coming, but it does seem fast considering Archie and Veronica were all in love last episode.

Umm WTH!

I knew they should have killed that SOB.

Okay well... That was season 5 I guess? 

Overall, I have mixed feelings about this season. I spent a lot of it being annoyed that the show was doing the same thing as always. They put Varchie back together after teasing Barchie AGAIN. There was another serial killer who was of course related to Betty. Jughead was fighting a "mythical" being. Archie was trying to save everyone. Veronica was fighting with her dad. Hiram was doing the same crap. So much was the same as before.

I think one thing I don't like about this show is that the same characters always interact. I want to see something new. I want characters who don't spend a lot of time together to have a good storyline. And I'm not talking about just one episode, I mean a plotline. Archie and Betty, for example, have not had 30 minutes of screen time together this entire show and they are supposed to be best friends. And how about Jughead and Veronica? Kevin and anyone really? 

The last couple of episodes gave me hope for the future. I can't say I'm incredibly excited about more Riverdale, but I am looking more forward to it than I was before this last half of the season. I don't like where they are going with Cheryl, why does she have to constantly be against everyone for dumb reasons? I like the new couples and I hope they do them all justice and don't change their minds again.

Basically, I will keep watching. At least for now. I think season 6 begins in just a month or so. Until then.

Riverdale Season 5 (Part 1?) - Team Barchie!

This season better be good cause it's costing me $15 to watch it.

Okay so they didn't kill Mr. Honey.

Now who's the vigilante.

When your girlfriend sings a song to you that you wrote for another girl. #awkward

Cheryl really oversteps her bounds.

Do places like this really exist? Creepy movie watching raves? And how did a kid get in?

You think Archie regrets that Serpent tattoo?

If someone says endgame one more time...

Oh snap. He just came right out and said it.

That was mature, V.

Someone is killing the crazy preppies? 

Damn it, Charles. Also, this was such a boring reveal.

Can you be a real housewife if you're not a wife?

Is it Jellybean?

It is! 

I buried a time capsule once and then couldn't remember where it was 11 years later when I went to dig it up.

This was legit my senior class song...in 2006...

Does that car really go fast enough to catch a bus?

So we're supposed to believe Archie still loves Veronica when he literally was all about Betty last episode?

This music is so dramatic. Bye Archie!

Less dramatic music. Bye Veronica! Bye Betty!

And Jughead is back to being homeless? Full circle. Bye Jug!

How dast you all stand Jughead up? For shame.

Six Seven year time jump apparently. 

Who is the baby daddy? 

Not Pops!

Why am I not surprised Betty's life has been traumatic since we last saw her?

TBK seems like a much more threatening name than Trash Bag Killer.

No one has packed up that FBI office in seven years?

So we time jumped but also we didn't.

This reminds me of the Pretty Little Liars time jump.

Did he just say Marsha's Vineyard?

Damn girl, that was savage.

Good thing nobody changed their phone number.

Is this the season where Toni finally gets a story line?

Popeye...that's funny actually.

Well that escalated quickly. Maybe Barchie will be a thing. I like it.

I'm just not sure any of these people are qualified to be teachers.

I like Pop's granddaughter.

I'm not sure how I feel about Chad. 

Does Betty really have the authority to arrest people? Who am I kidding, they let her diffuse a bomb as a teenager. 

I think I am going to create my own currency. With my face on it. Who wants to sponsor me?

50's love songs make me think of ghosts.

Eric is not wrong about how vets are treated.

I hope Archie and Betty get together for real, not just friends with benefits.

Aliens!

Well if there is a serial killer, they are probably related to Betty.

Why does Veronica keep calling her friend by her first and last name? We know who your friend is.

Are you serious, Archie? Before the time jump you dumped V and wrote Betty a song, but now somehow you're so in love with Veronica? This makes no sense.

Let me guess who's picking who's key. Also, why is V even going to this key party?

Why are you doing this to Kevin?

Why is Cheryl still like this?

Betty thinks she and Archie are too different? They might be different but they balance each other out. This is BS.

Marriage means nothing apparently.

Ugh. Listen, I've never been a Varchie person but this is so dumb and frustrating. Why not try something new instead of going back to the same old boring relationships we had in high school? 

This episode sucks.

The people of IMDB agree with me. 

I don't think Polly is dead.

I'm not a huge football person, but I love a good sports moment.

Children of the corn or...?

So is V cheating on Archie or not since she's possibly divorced? Also Chad is sending Archie pics of this right? I'm so tired of Varchie. I hope they implode.

Have I mentioned I'm tired of Hiram's nonsense?

I know Charles is a serial killer but I'm not sad to see his face again.

Sponsored by Tostitos. 

Are we to assume Jug cut his hand off? That would be lame.

Was that it? Is this only part 1 of this season?

I do not like the CW app.

Apparently this season was promoted as a refreshing change, that things would be shaken up. But...it's exactly the same as always. They still want us to root for the same boring couples as the last four seasons. Hiram is doing the same crap. Everyone is exactly the same. I had hopes for the time jump, but it's been a real bummer overall.

Archie treating Betty like a 'booty call' undermines their lifetime of friendship. Betty says she needs Archie as a friend and they literally have no other scenes together. Veronica sleeping with Archie while she's still married is not romantic. Jughead dreaming of Betty? Why is everyone stuck in the past? 

So Veronica is quitting her 5 year marriage after seeing her high school boyfriend for five minutes? It's like they threw Chad in there to be a temporary obstacle they could chuck away in 2 minutes. He should have been a great husband that V really loves. An adult relationship. Her and Archie were never good together IMO and I am beyond tired of them.

We can't even get Barchie for more than 2 episodes? They have such chemistry. They would be a good match and refreshing for this show that has insisted on the same two ships for its entirety. These were high school romances. The odds of them lasting are slim and I hate the fact the show seems to think people can never move on. That's growing up. That's life. There was so much potential with this time jump and they threw it away for the same old crap.

I'm terribly disappointed in this season (more so because I had to pay to watch half of it). I don't even care that much about the Moth Man mystery although Jughead and Tabitha working on that was one of the better storylines. Polly missing was decently interesting but even that doesn't make up for the rest of it.

I don't know how much I care about a show that insists on repeating itself over and over and over. We will see how I feel about it come fall, but at this point I am tired of it.