It's August now and Riverdale is back with new episodes. I'm not super excited about it, but of course I will watch. Though I'm sure it will be more of the same ole, same ole, one can always hope. Without further ado, let's get into this thing.
Yes...keep your distance, Varchie. Forever.
Has Betty become a truck driver?
The hillbillies are back. I guess they were in jail?
Just saw a preview for In the Dark. I thought that show was cancelled?
Veronica is still using Reggie? Why am I not surprised?
I hope Jughead and Tabitha become a thing.
Are there really people out there who randomly beat up the homeless for fun? Enjoy hell, assholes.
Was that Reggie on the American Horror Story preview?
Yes.
Oh yeah. Kevin and Fangs broke up. :/
Walkabouts? Who does Jughead think he is? John Locke?
The sad thing is, I bet there are actual people who would join Cheryl's mom's new religion.
Now Roni's using Archie? Also not surprised.
Jughead's ex is something, isn't she?
This girl is going to drug Betty and Tabitha right?
Damn, Jug.
I knew it.
So is she going to steal the manuscript as her own? Probably.
How did they get back to the bunker so easily? Isn't it in the middle of the woods?
Singing and it isn't even a musical.
This is weird.
Why can they not use actual names of places on this show?
Not again, Cheryl.
Stick to your guns, Archie.
How does the governor not have more protection?
Jughead reminds me of Leonardo DiCaprio in this episode. Something about the facial hair.
Never accept a ride from a trucker on the road where a trucker has been kidnapping people.
Well, now we have to wait a week.
I forgot this show came on Wednesday. So now it's Thursday, but I don't have to watch commercials so yay!
Yeah, why is Hiram so interested in taking over this town? And why do they dress like 50s mobsters?
Look, I just don't think I'd let Reggie be in charge of anything super important.
No offense, but I hope this whole episode isn't about Hiram and Reggie.
I'd like to feel bad for Reggie's dad, but he did used to hit Reggie a lot so you know...
I remember 1988. J/K I was a baby.
I think this episode is all about Hiram and Reggie. Sigh.
The actor playing young Hiram is on point.
I will never 2 straw a milkshake with another person. One, germs. Two, I love milkshakes.
Why are bad guys always eating fancy dinners when they meet with people?
I'm not saying Hermione is a gold digger...
Why would Luna come after Andrews in a class roll call? Isn't that usually done in alphabetical order? There are no other names between those two? Hermione's last name is Gomez right?
The soundtrack to this episode is weird.
The family resemblance on this show is uncanny.
I mean, mob boss gotta know that Hiram knows right?
How did he get blood on him from way over there?
Vino was scared of a teen? Did he only have those three lackies? What?
At least we have some answers.
*sings* He will never be satisfied.
Okay, this episode was better than I expected.
We really do need to get more help for veterans.
No Kevin! We already know you are susceptible to cults!
The Right Kind of Wrong is one of my favorite songs.
Moose!
Aw, the dog is traumatized too. :(
Did Michael Vick move to Riverdale?
I know almost nothing about investing, but are Veronica and Reggie doing something legitimate?
Archie is going on another vigilante mission? I'm shocked.
I danced on a bar once.
I think this guy is a murderer. Should probably get in his truck.
Watching someone die is not great and this guy is definitely a creep if nothing else.
Why do people turn their backs on killers?
Oh damn. Bro gotta chainsaw.
Is that the only car Tabitha has? Because it cannot run that fast.
I feel like if I cruised the woods around my house all I would find is a snake. Maybe a bear.
I think I've heard more musical numbers on this show than any show I've ever watched.
I miss Jughead. Was Cole Sprouse busy?
Mining is not a safe practice.
Does palladium or whatever make you cray cray?
Oh, gas. Gotcha.
So has Riverdale succeeded from the union or...?
Honestly, I'm just not that interested in this show anymore. I've been quite bored watching it.
Permission to murder granted. Completely legit.
I think Betty really needs to be in the psych ward.
The ME in this town is sketchy as hell.
I really do not like Jug's mustache.
This rat king thing is dumb.
Did the ninja turtles ever get flooded out you think?
If the tunnels got flooded, then how is all of this stuff still just sitting around?
Art collector, girl, run.
Has the third pussy cat ever spoken before now?
Every time someone goes to law school on TV or in movies it's Harvard. Seems unlikely.
Way to be a jerk, Tyler Perry.
I don't think dude is really fine with not getting married.
How convenient that Josie walks into Pops right after they mention her on the radio.
Is this going to be a musical? Or just an episode with a musical number? It's so hard to tell with this show.
When did Jughead get back?
Josie done with all you fools. Me too, TBH.
Why do people keep coming back to this town?
I'm not sure singing Little Shop of Horrors in your restaurant is the best marketing strategy?
Where did Toni randomly come from?
Old Navy I guess.
They really didn't have time to get to a hospital?
Did Toni name the baby after her grandfather? Or after herself?
Are they trying to setup a spinoff?
They decorated that bus quick.
I don't know why creepy coroner is now so concerned about doing sketchy things.
I mean, I get V is peeved at Chad but why would you give up everything you've worked for for a man? No offense to Archie, but he's not that great honestly.
Seriously? We're trying to kill Archie again? Get a new hobby, Hiram.
Chad sucks at killing.
Juice cleanses are hard.
Hiram is one to talk. Like he hasn't also failed to kill Archie before.
You know what I'm tired of? Cults. Varchie. Bughead. Serial killers. Rich people battling over money. Vigilantes. I think I just described this entire show.
Isn't Toni also bi? She did hook up with Jughead once I think.
Of course Archie gets stuck in the mine. Let me guess who is responsible.
As if Eric has not been traumatized enough.
Betty is related to another serial killer? I'm shocked.
If Veronica murders Hiram, I might actually like her more.
This crew has a weird phone tree.
How is it that they don't all know about this mine collapse by now? This isn't a large town and everyone knows everyone else's business.
Great, now Kevin will join Cheryl's cult.
Chad really sucks at killing.
You should have just given up, Chad. Toxic masculinity will get you every time.
BRB, gotta go grab some moonshine.
Always watch where you're walking. Who knows when there might be a bear trap.
I know Veronica kind of hated Chad, but she is taking killing him very well. They were married for like 6 years right?
I honestly figured Polly was alive. I'm glad she isn't though. I don't like when shows take the easy way out.
Is Next to Normal a real play?
Yes.
Man, I missed Charles' face.
No offense, but I hope Varchie living together goes terribly.
How shitty of a person do you have to be to kick your teenage kid out for being gay? And right after they have literally just been kidnapped by serial killers?
Toni and Fangs are definitely taking this kid in right?
Ooh, pretend boyfriend. I like it.
Ooh, real boyfriend. I like it more.
I think I might actually like this Next to Normal musical, even though I imagine it is sadder than this episode.
I think V is finally realizing she and Archie want different things. Something I have known all along.
With Cheryl? That seems like a terrible idea.
Are there really going to be no consequences for Veronica killing Chad?
"We're not in high school anymore." THANK YOU!
I think Lili Reinhart would be a good on Broadway.
So are Toni and Fangs in love? Or just love each other like family? Either way I'm cool with it.
I think this might be my favorite episode of the season so far.
Okay, so I don't typically comment on the previews but next week is the season finale and it looked a lot like Veronica was kissing Reggie and Betty was kissing Archie. I'm on board.
I checked Twitter, because that is how I confirm things, and the people agree with me. And by the people I mean some people but we're not going to talk about the haters.
I also discovered some people call Reggie and Veronica ReggiRoni and that is spectacular.
I don't think their selves was the scariest thing the kids in IT had to face.
When did Betty have time to finish her FBI training? Wasn't she suspended?
Okay, calling Veronica a Black Widow isn't fair. She's only killed one husband.
It might be a little soon for Tughead (?) to move in together.
Sabotage!
Does this mean no more milkshakes?
I bet Archie has always wanted to kick in a door.
Counselor by day, torturer by night.
Murder plot!
That answers the milkshake question.
Maybe y'all should run instead of make out since you just torched a building?
I still can't decide if Toni and Fangs are in love or not?
I'm a little bummed they didn't kill Hiram, but I do like how they all banded together against him.
The Blossom's are a bizarre family. Witches now?
How did Abigail write about her death in her journal?
Cheryl is overreacting big time.
Well that was easy.
And I find myself asking again... is there magic?
I knew all of this relationship swapping was coming, but it does seem fast considering Archie and Veronica were all in love last episode.
Umm WTH!
I knew they should have killed that SOB.
Okay well... That was season 5 I guess?
Overall, I have mixed feelings about this season. I spent a lot of it being annoyed that the show was doing the same thing as always. They put Varchie back together after teasing Barchie AGAIN. There was another serial killer who was of course related to Betty. Jughead was fighting a "mythical" being. Archie was trying to save everyone. Veronica was fighting with her dad. Hiram was doing the same crap. So much was the same as before.
I think one thing I don't like about this show is that the same characters always interact. I want to see something new. I want characters who don't spend a lot of time together to have a good storyline. And I'm not talking about just one episode, I mean a plotline. Archie and Betty, for example, have not had 30 minutes of screen time together this entire show and they are supposed to be best friends. And how about Jughead and Veronica? Kevin and anyone really?
The last couple of episodes gave me hope for the future. I can't say I'm incredibly excited about more Riverdale, but I am looking more forward to it than I was before this last half of the season. I don't like where they are going with Cheryl, why does she have to constantly be against everyone for dumb reasons? I like the new couples and I hope they do them all justice and don't change their minds again.
Basically, I will keep watching. At least for now. I think season 6 begins in just a month or so. Until then.
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