2023 Reading Progress Update

We've made it to the halfway point of 2023, so I thought I would do a reading progress update. How have I done so far? Am I well on my way to achieving my goals? As a matter of fact, yes! I'm actually kind of killing it.

• Read 27 books- As stated, my goal was to read 27 books this year. So far, I've read 50. So yeah, killing it.
• Listen to more audio books- I have actually listened to quite a few audio books this year. More than any other format actually. This goal has most definitely been met.
• Read more fantasy- I have read a few fantasy novels this year, but I'm going to hold off on checking this one off the list for now.
• Read books I already own- This is a goal I can't in good faith say I have met. I have read a few books I already owned prior to this year, but not many. Still a WIP.

As for the TBR, I've marked two off the list. Two of the others are not out yet. So that only leaves one I could have read but haven't. Not too bad.

1. The Green Mile- Stephen King 
2. Confessions of a Shopaholic
3. The Stolen Heir- Holly Black 
4. A Curse For True Love- Stephanie Garber 
5. The Brother's Hawthorne- Jennifer Lynn Barnes

So yes, the progress has been good so far. Fingers crossed that I can keep it up for the rest of the year. I also decided to make pie charts to show the various formats and genres I've read because why not?

Riverdale 5-Episode Event

 Here we go, one more time, everybody's feeling... unsure. But here we go nonetheless.

Rivervale? Is that like Sunnyvale? Is Tyra Banks here somewhere?

It was all a dream?!

Can you really declare a dead deer a crime scene?

Cheryl, I just can't anymore.

Why are we talking to the medical examiner about a baby?

I don't know that Cameron is wrong, tho.

Reggie is not convinced and neither am I.

You never kill spiders? That is not how I live my life.

Babies? I feel like this got serious very quickly.

Okay, but also... last time two characters on a show I watched talked about how they had plenty of time to have babies one of them died.  

So we have exactly one doctor who does all the things or what?

Leaving a baby in the woods is never a good idea, seriously. What if it gets eaten? Or freezes to death? Or any number of other things?

Making love on a bed of money seems very unsanitary.

Reggie ain't putting up with this BS. Good for him.

It's not you, it's me. Classic.

So is Cheryl somehow causing everyone problems to manipulate them into taking weird potions?

I prefer Regeroni.

How can anyone eat that many pancakes? I can't even eat 3.

Everyone is acting so strange. I suspect this is all a dream sequence.

Someone is gong to die, aren't they? 

Are you serious, Clark?

Who is that girl with Reggie? Are we supposed to know her?

Damn, Tabitha. How did you miss that badly?

Is this like that Tik Tok where the girl found an apartment behind her bathroom mirror?

Kind of.

Ghost Polly? Wait, not ghost. A vengeful spirit. Like the Grudge.

Tabitha is gonna kill Jug, isn't she?

Hey, I was right. Vengeful spirit.

I just really don't know what I'm supposed to think about this.

Oh, Mrs. Cradle Robber pt 2.

No longer pregnant? This is just like Midnight Mass.

Is everyone going to die before this arc is over?

If we come back from this weird ass arc and everyone goes back to their high school sweetheart imma be really annoyed.

More ghosts?

Oh, the devil? I prefer Tom Ellis.

People really love this diner, don't they?

Was this guy the devil on Sabrina? I'm looking it up.

Yes he was. I tried watching that show. It was too weird for me. Which is saying something.

Let's all sell our souls to the devil then. Why the hell not? (see what I did there?)

This is why I don't gamble.

Reggie might wanna think about calling the Winchesters.

How did this guy become a senator? 

Oh well.

Selling your girlfriend's soul to the devil is a quick way to end the relationship.

I'm gonna marry...Edward... (I've only ever heard the Hillywood version of this song until now... if you haven't seen their Breaking Dawn parody, you're missing out.)

Reggie is gonna die, isn't he?

Yep.

Witches be crazy.

Are these multi-generational Cheryls drugging people or what?

Blossom women for all women!

This might be the best episode of this weird arc.

Death portraits are disturbing.

It's sad people really used to treat women like this. And still do.

Axe murder!

Or not. Is Abigail just really weak or what?

Sabrina has arrived. I kinda thought she would be in more of this episode but oh well.

Okay, so we're transferring Nana Rose's essence into another body?

Wait... is Nana Rose Abigail? 

Wait... Cheryl is Poppy is Abigail? And now Nana Rose is Cheryl?

Happy sad endings might be the best. 

Hey Archie's back!

Oh, so it was all a dream? 

Or not. I don't know what's going on. What else is new?

This is a paradox. 

Oh yeah, I forgot Reggie was played by a different guy at first. 

All the cameos in this episode.

A Reggie threesome? Good for Roni, not so much for Reggie.

This is kind of a cool episode. 

I always knew Ethel was suspect... and smart.

Jughead and Veronica, saving the world one hookup at a time. 

Ooh twist.

Wait, does this mean Jughead is going to have to kiss Betty? *rolls eyes*

The universe is saved!

And we're back.

Well...that was....something. The last two episodes were better than the others, but I'm just not sure I can say I really liked it. Honestly, I'm not even sure why I'm still watching this show.

Until 2022.

Riverdale Season 5B - Kaboom!

It's August now and Riverdale is back with new episodes. I'm not super excited about it, but of course I will watch. Though I'm sure it will be more of the same ole, same ole, one can always hope. Without further ado, let's get into this thing.

Yes...keep your distance, Varchie. Forever.

Has Betty become a truck driver?

The hillbillies are back. I guess they were in jail?

Just saw a preview for In the Dark. I thought that show was cancelled?

Veronica is still using Reggie? Why am I not surprised?

I hope Jughead and Tabitha become a thing.

Are there really people out there who randomly beat up the homeless for fun? Enjoy hell, assholes.

Was that Reggie on the American Horror Story preview?

Yes.

Oh yeah. Kevin and Fangs broke up. :/

Walkabouts? Who does Jughead think he is? John Locke?

The sad thing is, I bet there are actual people who would join Cheryl's mom's new religion.

Now Roni's using Archie? Also not surprised.

Jughead's ex is something, isn't she?

This girl is going to drug Betty and Tabitha right?

Damn, Jug.

I knew it.

So is she going to steal the manuscript as her own? Probably.

How did they get back to the bunker so easily? Isn't it in the middle of the woods?

Singing and it isn't even a musical.

This is weird.

Why can they not use actual names of places on this show? 

Not again, Cheryl.

Stick to your guns, Archie.

How does the governor not have more protection?

Jughead reminds me of Leonardo DiCaprio in this episode. Something about the facial hair.

Never accept a ride from a trucker on the road where a trucker has been kidnapping people.

Well, now we have to wait a week.

I forgot this show came on Wednesday. So now it's Thursday, but I don't have to watch commercials so yay!

Yeah, why is Hiram so interested in taking over this town? And why do they dress like 50s mobsters?

Look, I just don't think I'd let Reggie be in charge of anything super important.

No offense, but I hope this whole episode isn't about Hiram and Reggie.

I'd like to feel bad for Reggie's dad, but he did used to hit Reggie a lot so you know...

I remember 1988. J/K I was a baby.

I think this episode is all about Hiram and Reggie. Sigh.

The actor playing young Hiram is on point.

I will never 2 straw a milkshake with another person. One, germs. Two, I love milkshakes.

Why are bad guys always eating fancy dinners when they meet with people?

I'm not saying Hermione is a gold digger...

Why would Luna come after Andrews in a class roll call? Isn't that usually done in alphabetical order? There are no other names between those two? Hermione's last name is Gomez right?

The soundtrack to this episode is weird.

The family resemblance on this show is uncanny.

I mean, mob boss gotta know that Hiram knows right?

How did he get blood on him from way over there?

Vino was scared of a teen? Did he only have those three lackies? What?

At least we have some answers.

*sings* He will never be satisfied. 

Okay, this episode was better than I expected.

We really do need to get more help for veterans. 

No Kevin! We already know you are susceptible to cults!

The Right Kind of Wrong is one of my favorite songs.

Moose!

Aw, the dog is traumatized too. :( 

Did Michael Vick move to Riverdale?

I know almost nothing about investing, but are Veronica and Reggie doing something legitimate?

Archie is going on another vigilante mission? I'm shocked.

I danced on a bar once.

I think this guy is a murderer. Should probably get in his truck.

Watching someone die is not great and this guy is definitely a creep if nothing else.

Why do people turn their backs on killers?

Oh damn. Bro gotta chainsaw.

Is that the only car Tabitha has? Because it cannot run that fast.

I feel like if I cruised the woods around my house all I would find is a snake. Maybe a bear.

I think I've heard more musical numbers on this show than any show I've ever watched. 

I miss Jughead. Was Cole Sprouse busy?

Mining is not a safe practice.

Does palladium or whatever make you cray cray?

Oh, gas. Gotcha.

So has Riverdale succeeded from the union or...?

Honestly, I'm just not that interested in this show anymore. I've been quite bored watching it.

Permission to murder granted. Completely legit.

I think Betty really needs to be in the psych ward.

The ME in this town is sketchy as hell.

I really do not like Jug's mustache. 

This rat king thing is dumb.

Did the ninja turtles ever get flooded out you think?

If the tunnels got flooded, then how is all of this stuff still just sitting around?

Art collector, girl, run.

Has the third pussy cat ever spoken before now?

Every time someone goes to law school on TV or in movies it's Harvard. Seems unlikely.

Way to be a jerk, Tyler Perry.

I don't think dude is really fine with not getting married.

How convenient that Josie walks into Pops right after they mention her on the radio.

Is this going to be a musical? Or just an episode with a musical number? It's so hard to tell with this show.

When did Jughead get back?

Josie done with all you fools. Me too, TBH.

Why do people keep coming back to this town?

I'm not sure singing Little Shop of Horrors in your restaurant is the best marketing strategy?

Where did Toni randomly come from? 

Old Navy I guess.

They really didn't have time to get to a hospital?

Did Toni name the baby after her grandfather? Or after herself?

Are they trying to setup a spinoff?

They decorated that bus quick.

I don't know why creepy coroner is now so concerned about doing sketchy things. 

I mean, I get V is peeved at Chad but why would you give up everything you've worked for for a man? No offense to Archie, but he's not that great honestly.

Seriously? We're trying to kill Archie again? Get a new hobby, Hiram.

Chad sucks at killing.

Juice cleanses are hard.

Hiram is one to talk. Like he hasn't also failed to kill Archie before.

You know what I'm tired of? Cults. Varchie. Bughead. Serial killers. Rich people battling over money. Vigilantes. I think I just described this entire show.

Isn't Toni also bi? She did hook up with Jughead once I think.

Of course Archie gets stuck in the mine. Let me guess who is responsible.

As if Eric has not been traumatized enough.

Betty is related to another serial killer? I'm shocked.

If Veronica murders Hiram, I might actually like her more.

This crew has a weird phone tree.

How is it that they don't all know about this mine collapse by now? This isn't a large town and everyone knows everyone else's business.

Great, now Kevin will join Cheryl's cult.

Chad really sucks at killing.

You should have just given up, Chad. Toxic masculinity will get you every time.

BRB, gotta go grab some moonshine.

Always watch where you're walking. Who knows when there might be a bear trap.

I know Veronica kind of hated Chad, but she is taking killing him very well. They were married for like 6 years right?

I honestly figured Polly was alive. I'm glad she isn't though. I don't like when shows take the easy way out.

Is Next to Normal a real play?

Yes.

Man, I missed Charles' face.

No offense, but I hope Varchie living together goes terribly.

How shitty of a person do you have to be to kick your teenage kid out for being gay? And right after they have literally just been kidnapped by serial killers?

Toni and Fangs are definitely taking this kid in right?

Ooh, pretend boyfriend. I like it.

Ooh, real boyfriend. I like it more.

I think I might actually like this Next to Normal musical, even though I imagine it is sadder than this episode.

I think V is finally realizing she and Archie want different things. Something I have known all along.

With Cheryl? That seems like a terrible idea.

Are there really going to be no consequences for Veronica killing Chad?

"We're not in high school anymore." THANK YOU! 

I think Lili Reinhart would be a good on Broadway.

So are Toni and Fangs in love? Or just love each other like family? Either way I'm cool with it.

I think this might be my favorite episode of the season so far.

Okay, so I don't typically comment on the previews but next week is the season finale and it looked a lot like Veronica was kissing Reggie and Betty was kissing Archie. I'm on board.

I checked Twitter, because that is how I confirm things, and the people agree with me. And by the people I mean some people but we're not going to talk about the haters. 

I also discovered some people call Reggie and Veronica ReggiRoni and that is spectacular.

I don't think their selves was the scariest thing the kids in IT had to face.

When did Betty have time to finish her FBI training? Wasn't she suspended?

Okay, calling Veronica a Black Widow isn't fair. She's only killed one husband.

It might be a little soon for Tughead (?) to move in together. 

Sabotage! 

Does this mean no more milkshakes? 

I bet Archie has always wanted to kick in a door.

Counselor by day, torturer by night. 

Murder plot!

That answers the milkshake question.

Maybe y'all should run instead of make out since you just torched a building?

I still can't decide if Toni and Fangs are in love or not?

I'm a little bummed they didn't kill Hiram, but I do like how they all banded together against him. 

The Blossom's are a bizarre family. Witches now?

How did Abigail write about her death in her journal?

Cheryl is overreacting big time.

Well that was easy.

And I find myself asking again... is there magic?

I knew all of this relationship swapping was coming, but it does seem fast considering Archie and Veronica were all in love last episode.

Umm WTH!

I knew they should have killed that SOB.

Okay well... That was season 5 I guess? 

Overall, I have mixed feelings about this season. I spent a lot of it being annoyed that the show was doing the same thing as always. They put Varchie back together after teasing Barchie AGAIN. There was another serial killer who was of course related to Betty. Jughead was fighting a "mythical" being. Archie was trying to save everyone. Veronica was fighting with her dad. Hiram was doing the same crap. So much was the same as before.

I think one thing I don't like about this show is that the same characters always interact. I want to see something new. I want characters who don't spend a lot of time together to have a good storyline. And I'm not talking about just one episode, I mean a plotline. Archie and Betty, for example, have not had 30 minutes of screen time together this entire show and they are supposed to be best friends. And how about Jughead and Veronica? Kevin and anyone really? 

The last couple of episodes gave me hope for the future. I can't say I'm incredibly excited about more Riverdale, but I am looking more forward to it than I was before this last half of the season. I don't like where they are going with Cheryl, why does she have to constantly be against everyone for dumb reasons? I like the new couples and I hope they do them all justice and don't change their minds again.

Basically, I will keep watching. At least for now. I think season 6 begins in just a month or so. Until then.

Riverdale Season 5 (Part 1?) - Team Barchie!

This season better be good cause it's costing me $15 to watch it.

Okay so they didn't kill Mr. Honey.

Now who's the vigilante.

When your girlfriend sings a song to you that you wrote for another girl. #awkward

Cheryl really oversteps her bounds.

Do places like this really exist? Creepy movie watching raves? And how did a kid get in?

You think Archie regrets that Serpent tattoo?

If someone says endgame one more time...

Oh snap. He just came right out and said it.

That was mature, V.

Someone is killing the crazy preppies? 

Damn it, Charles. Also, this was such a boring reveal.

Can you be a real housewife if you're not a wife?

Is it Jellybean?

It is! 

I buried a time capsule once and then couldn't remember where it was 11 years later when I went to dig it up.

This was legit my senior class song...in 2006...

Does that car really go fast enough to catch a bus?

So we're supposed to believe Archie still loves Veronica when he literally was all about Betty last episode?

This music is so dramatic. Bye Archie!

Less dramatic music. Bye Veronica! Bye Betty!

And Jughead is back to being homeless? Full circle. Bye Jug!

How dast you all stand Jughead up? For shame.

Six Seven year time jump apparently. 

Who is the baby daddy? 

Not Pops!

Why am I not surprised Betty's life has been traumatic since we last saw her?

TBK seems like a much more threatening name than Trash Bag Killer.

No one has packed up that FBI office in seven years?

So we time jumped but also we didn't.

This reminds me of the Pretty Little Liars time jump.

Did he just say Marsha's Vineyard?

Damn girl, that was savage.

Good thing nobody changed their phone number.

Is this the season where Toni finally gets a story line?

Popeye...that's funny actually.

Well that escalated quickly. Maybe Barchie will be a thing. I like it.

I'm just not sure any of these people are qualified to be teachers.

I like Pop's granddaughter.

I'm not sure how I feel about Chad. 

Does Betty really have the authority to arrest people? Who am I kidding, they let her diffuse a bomb as a teenager. 

I think I am going to create my own currency. With my face on it. Who wants to sponsor me?

50's love songs make me think of ghosts.

Eric is not wrong about how vets are treated.

I hope Archie and Betty get together for real, not just friends with benefits.

Aliens!

Well if there is a serial killer, they are probably related to Betty.

Why does Veronica keep calling her friend by her first and last name? We know who your friend is.

Are you serious, Archie? Before the time jump you dumped V and wrote Betty a song, but now somehow you're so in love with Veronica? This makes no sense.

Let me guess who's picking who's key. Also, why is V even going to this key party?

Why are you doing this to Kevin?

Why is Cheryl still like this?

Betty thinks she and Archie are too different? They might be different but they balance each other out. This is BS.

Marriage means nothing apparently.

Ugh. Listen, I've never been a Varchie person but this is so dumb and frustrating. Why not try something new instead of going back to the same old boring relationships we had in high school? 

This episode sucks.

The people of IMDB agree with me. 

I don't think Polly is dead.

I'm not a huge football person, but I love a good sports moment.

Children of the corn or...?

So is V cheating on Archie or not since she's possibly divorced? Also Chad is sending Archie pics of this right? I'm so tired of Varchie. I hope they implode.

Have I mentioned I'm tired of Hiram's nonsense?

I know Charles is a serial killer but I'm not sad to see his face again.

Sponsored by Tostitos. 

Are we to assume Jug cut his hand off? That would be lame.

Was that it? Is this only part 1 of this season?

I do not like the CW app.

Apparently this season was promoted as a refreshing change, that things would be shaken up. But...it's exactly the same as always. They still want us to root for the same boring couples as the last four seasons. Hiram is doing the same crap. Everyone is exactly the same. I had hopes for the time jump, but it's been a real bummer overall.

Archie treating Betty like a 'booty call' undermines their lifetime of friendship. Betty says she needs Archie as a friend and they literally have no other scenes together. Veronica sleeping with Archie while she's still married is not romantic. Jughead dreaming of Betty? Why is everyone stuck in the past? 

So Veronica is quitting her 5 year marriage after seeing her high school boyfriend for five minutes? It's like they threw Chad in there to be a temporary obstacle they could chuck away in 2 minutes. He should have been a great husband that V really loves. An adult relationship. Her and Archie were never good together IMO and I am beyond tired of them.

We can't even get Barchie for more than 2 episodes? They have such chemistry. They would be a good match and refreshing for this show that has insisted on the same two ships for its entirety. These were high school romances. The odds of them lasting are slim and I hate the fact the show seems to think people can never move on. That's growing up. That's life. There was so much potential with this time jump and they threw it away for the same old crap.

I'm terribly disappointed in this season (more so because I had to pay to watch half of it). I don't even care that much about the Moth Man mystery although Jughead and Tabitha working on that was one of the better storylines. Polly missing was decently interesting but even that doesn't make up for the rest of it.

I don't know how much I care about a show that insists on repeating itself over and over and over. We will see how I feel about it come fall, but at this point I am tired of it.

Riverdale Season 4 - Childhood Ruined

Did Cheryl change her last name to Bates?

I'm really going to miss Fred.

OMG it's Shannon Dougherty!

I'm not crying, you're crying.

I'm fine. Everything is fine.

I guess let's not forget Betty lost her dad too. Even though he was a serial killer, it was still her dad.

Really good episode.

Ooo hot brother. More of him please thanks.

Kerr Smith!

Oh yeah, I forgot Weatherby ran off with the cult.

Sam Witwer!

Where did that guy get a camera with film?

The game is on, Honey.

I hope Veronica isn't thinking of changing her name to Andrews. Too soon.

Moose!

Sign me up for that carwash.

Magic Mike night is a great idea.

Oh yay, a new rich asshole.

Why is the FBI letting Betty defuse a bomb? Law enforcement in this town is questionable at best.

A rocket? Who does Edgar think he is? Elon Musk? This is possibly the dumbest storyline I've ever seen.

Do you like scary movies?

I hope Charles isn't a bad guy. I think I love him.

Y'all would rather have a corpse in your house than a creepy doll? I get it.

Damn, Mr. Honey is savage.

Jughead is dead?! Gasp. Actually, I knew that was going to happen. I saw a preview or something a while back. I doubt he's actually dead though.

I love how excited Jughead is about these books.

Archie just desperately wants to be a hero, doesn't he?

Maybe I'm distracted by his hotness, but I really don't think Charles is a serial killer.

I've decided Jughead is my favorite character. Sorry, Kevin. You lost me last season.

Is Charles gay though? Has that been confirmed? Did I miss something?

Okay he said our bed and that he left Chic so maybe yes? 

Yeah, I would definitely move out of that creepy ass house, Cheryl.

Why do they sometimes talk on payphones and landlines instead of their cell phones?

Why is Jughead the only student concerned that their teacher jumped out a window?

WTF Charles.

I can deal with a lot but not cannibalism. 

Of course people in Riverdale still have VCRs.

Gina Torres!

I'm just going to keep announcing when actors I know show up.

Why is Archie suddenly the quarterback? Wasn't he a running back before?

It's a secret society, Betty. 

Ugh, Brett sucks.

I have a feeling Jughead's story is going to drive the final wedge between him and Betty. Secrets, Yale, and now writing about her dad?

I really don't think you're supposed to use FBI resources to dig up dirt on your sister's nemeses.

What happened to Josie's mom?

Listen, Yale, you can't hold a father's crimes against his daughter. If that is in fact true, hot shady Charles.

Kevin... I'm not judging but I'm not sure this is a good idea.

The limit does not exist.

Why would you throw those answers away at the site of the quiz show? In the room you were using? That was an amateur mistake.

If word keeps spreading about the Maple Club, how long will it really take for Hiram to find out about it?

Rotted his guts? What a nice way to tell someone their friend died.

When Veronica first mentioned Katie Keene, I wondered if it was Lucy Hale. It is.

Hey good. Moose is okay!

So I guess Stonewall's zero tolerance policy doesn't extend to duals? 

At school? I mean at least cover the window.

Betty obviously didn't do anything. But I'm guessing this is all some elaborate scheme Jughead came up with.

This coverup is not going well.

As if it hasn't already been obvious, Charles is not a good FBI agent. Now he's helping cover up a murder?

Okay, I do think it's possible to hypnotize people and give them trigger words but I also think that it takes time to "condition" someone. Wasn't Betty only hypnotized once?

I wonder if Betty is in on this plan? I'm starting to think so.

I just don't know if I think Hiram is really sick.

No one seems upset enough that Jughead is dead. I want more tears.

Did FP just say weak sauce?

The final problem, huh? Hmm...

I feel like this kiss was staged.

This is definitely a rouse.

I knew it, but also it wasn't really that convincing.

I feel like Archie and Betty are both lying about feelings.

Mmmhmm

Murder on the Orient Express, Stonewall addition

This show loves musicals doesn't it.

The musical episodes have the lowest ratings on IMDB, but I actually quite enjoy them.

I'm not going to lie, I love seeing everyone in drag.

This is it, isn't it?

Yep.

Maybe this is why people don't like this episode. I'll save my thoughts for later.

But is it really over? Are we gonna pretend it didn't happen, just like last time?

So did someone kill the real Mr. Honey?

I'm assuming this season ended early because of the pandemic? 

Okay, well that was it. Season 4, that was presumably cut short. I'm guessing season 5, which I know has a time jump, will show the end of senior year and graduation that was probably originally the season 4 ender. 

Overall I liked the season, especially the Stonewall/Jughead mystery bit. I never thought Jughead was dead (largely because I am fairly certain he is in season 5), but I still enjoyed it. 

What I didn't like? I get that Archie is trying to help underprivileged kids, but his hero complex is killing me. I am also really tired of Veronica's ongoing war with her dad.

As for the Betty and Archie thing... So back in season 2, I liked the idea of Barchie. After their Christmas kiss, I really thought they would start dropping hints and building their romance. (Remember when Jughead narrated that Archie was seeing the girl next door as if for the first time?) But they didn't. They barely discussed it except to say it happened and season 3 passed without so much as a subtle hint. So I really thought season 4 would be the season. And it was...sort of.

Even though it seemed sudden, and kind of made them both cheaters, I don't hate it. I do love Jughead and don't want him to be sad, but I am also ready for new couples. I like when shows mix things up as far as ships go. So I'm curious if they will continue to pursue it in season 5. I don't want them to be cheaters (I'm having flashbacks of Xander and Willow in BTVS season 3), and I'm sure they probably won't be endgame, but I would like to see something new. Do I wish the buildup had been bigger? Yes. But am I mad about it? No. 

Also, unless people just don't like the Barchie bits, why is this season's musical episode the lowest rated episode of the entire show? Like the other musicals, I liked it. And it was not the worst episode this season even.

So what's next? Prom, graduation, another serial killer? Will we get a resolution to the VHS mystery before the time jump? Is Charles really in love with Chic? I don't like that.

We will find out sometime maybe. As of now, all of season 5 is not on Netflix, Hulu, the CW app or anything but Amazon where I have to buy it. Time to play the waiting game.

12 Bodies and, yes, a Wedding - Body Movers Finale Thoughts

It has now been a few weeks since I read the final book in the Body Movers series and it's time to share my thoughts. Last we left it, book 11 had me annoyed and despondent. Knowing the upcoming and final book was entitled 12 Bodies and a Wedding, I was not especially looking forward to it. As you may know, if you read my last installment, I was preparing myself for a disappointing and bland ending (ie. Carlotta marrying Coop). So what happened? How did it all end? How is my mental state? Read on to find out!

First off, we will discuss what happened to Wesley and the side characters. Wesley spends the book trying to prove himself to Meg's dad, who does not approve of him. Jack vouches for Wes at his court hearing, which helps him out with the judge. Wes also decides to finally tell his dad he does not want to run the golfing business with him and instead wants to go to college to be a doctor. His dad, surprisingly, says he supports his son. I thought it would be more difficult than that, so good on him I guess. Meg's dad finally gives Wes a break and she goes as his date to the wedding. Throughout, Wes is wary of Jack and his part in the wedding but decides he doesn't hate the man anymore.

Hannah finally tells her parents about Chance and the baby and let's him move in with her. Chance starts working for Wesley's dad, determined to get back on the straight and narrow for his wife and child. The Wrens and Prissy didn't really play a big part in this book besides being around for the wedding planning and festivities. Although Carlotta does decide to approach her half sister to try to form a relationship, she also decides it doesn't matter who her biological father is. Randolph is her dad.

Now for Carlotta and the love triangle (you know, the important part):

We start off a few weeks after the engagement. Carlotta says she and Coop are getting married soon and everyone questions her decision to rush it. She ignores them and sets about planning, albeit slowly. Honestly, I started to have hope pretty early on in this book because Carlotta seemed really disconnected when making all of her wedding plans. She just seemed to agree with the first thing put in front of her when it came to picking out rings and invitations. She even forgot about Jarold Jett offering to make her wedding dress until Jack reminded her. She did blame her distractedness on Patricia's case, something she hadn't been able to let go of, but, to me, it seemed like more than that. 

Strangely, Coop asks Jack to be his best man. And look, I know they are friends, sort of, but why wouldn't he ask Wesley over Jack? As later speculated by Carlotta, maybe it was to one up Jack? Or test Carlotta's loyalty? Either way, I found it perplexing. More so that Jack agreed. Also, if Jack is Coop's closest friend, that is sad.

A few things I have been waiting on finally happened. Carlotta follows Jack home one evening and discovers he lives on a boat named Serena. She wonders about this but doesn't ask. Later, Jack comes to tell her that her bio dad is responsible for Peter's death. He then tells her he also lost someone he loved (just as I theorized!) and that is why he works so much and has never been able to tell Carlotta he loves her. She realizes this is the woman he named his boat after. Carlotta also mentions that when Jarold Jett sent her dress, he sent a note with it wishing her and her detective a happy wedding. Weird, she tells Jack, that he thinks we're the ones getting married. (Is it, though?)

The preverbal icing on the cake is when Carlotta tells her therapist her relationship with Coop is easy. That is how she described it. Easy. Which, on the surface, isn't a bad thing to say. But when that's the only way to describe your relationship with your fiancé... probably not good. The therapist also points out how she hasn't told Coop about her father or her continued obsession with what happened to Patricia. Coop doesn't even find out until Jack rats her out for trying to use him to get DNA results.

As far as the case goes, Carlotta convinces Jack to keep investigating and she eventually discovers the very bizarre truth. Patricia had accidentally swapped makeup cases with someone who had intel on a political figure (a used condom) and someone had killed her to get it back. After another confrontation that almost gets her shot, Jack arrests the perpetrators and rushes Carlotta to her wedding.

Throughout, Carlotta dreams about what her future would be like with Coop (the neighbors love him, the kids are organized and well-behaved, life is simple) and then later with Jack (everything is chaos). But the simple fact that she is dreaming about a future with Jack should tell you something. Also, when she sees a psychic at her bachelorette party, the woman tells her she will marry the best man. I mean... that is not subtle.

At the wedding, Carlotta has a bit of an out of body experience. She even stumbles, thinking about how she'll be with Coop until she dies. She looks to Jack for reassurance but he looks like he might faint (also she actually thinks 'if only' about Jack while walking down the aisle). The ceremony has barely begun when Jack interrupts the minister with a simple "stop". Coop responds by punching him in the face and Carlotta responds by fleeing the church. After a little scuffle, the men break apart and are both surprised to find Carlotta gone. Jack apologizes and tells Coop to go after her.

Carlotta, who fled the scene in her car, realizes she can't marry Coop because, and I quote, "her soul yearned for another man". Although quite obvious by this point, she is in love with Jack and, even if he doesn't love her back, she can't commit to Coop while wondering 'what if' about Jack. She sees the limo behind her and prepares herself to break Coop's heart. But it isn't Coop in the limo. It's Jack.

He comes up to the car, apologizes for making a mess of things, and confesses that he's in love with her. He wonders if it is too late for them. It is not, she says, and they kiss. Then comes the surprising bit. Jack asks her to marry him, right now. She agrees and they run off and get married at the court house. We get a final intimate scene between the two of them before Jack is called into work. Carlotta finally calls Hannah (everyone is worried about her, understandably) and breaks the news about Jack. Hannah is shocked at first, but then concedes she should have seen it coming. The books ends with the two of them headed to pick up a body at the crime scene Jack just left for.

So obviously I was happy with the ending. My ship set sail and got hitched. I think it leaves a lot of possibility for the future if the author decides to revisit these characters. I'd like to see Carlotta and Jack solving crime together. I would also very much like to see Prissy's reaction to their marriage as she always said she was going to marry Jack. 

I was surprised that Coop and Carlotta actually made it to the alter. I really didn't think Carlotta would break Coop's heart that way. I mean, I'm not mad about it, just surprised. I was disappointed by her decision to purchase a house with Coop. As my friend Courtney pointed out, contracts were involved and it probably wouldn't have been easy to get out of it. Coop may have been stuck with a house, assuming it wasn't in both of their names. I wish she had said 'let's think about it' instead. 

I do feel bad for Coop, but even he admitted that he shouldn't have tried to come between Carlotta and Jack. And though Jarlotta (just made that up) were mostly to blame, Coop obviously wasn't completely blindsided. He had to have realized Carlotta wasn't really into planning the wedding. He had to have known something was off. They even decided not to have sex, after that one time, until the wedding, which is sweet in some respects, but also suspicious based on my knowledge of the characters. Maybe Coop will show up in one of Stephanie Bond's serial novels. Or maybe he and Raine will make it work. 

Overall, I did enjoy the book but I wish it was longer. Like the last several, it was pretty short. I read the whole thing in about 3 hours. I wish many of the scenes had been longer and that we would have gotten to see some of the things that happened off page (Jack and Carlotta buying wedding rings at the pawn shop, for example). But I have to give it plus 1,000 points because I've been obsessing about it for 6 years and I got the ending I wanted.

Now, maybe, it is time to move on. 

At least until one of these characters show up in Elevator Girl, coming this July.

Riverdale Season 2 - Daddy Issues

I watched Riverdale season 2. I made notes along the way. Here they are:

It is 22 episodes. Sigh.

So Ms. Cradle Robber gets murdered and that's it?

Did Archie always have a dog?

Betty's mom is bipolar.

Who is the guy with the glasses and where did he come from?

More Nancy Drew references.

When Veronica said she wanted to be in the room where it happens, was that a Hamilton reference? I'm going with yes.

The red dot vigilante group is kind of lame.

I guess Jughead is joining the Serpents.

That rich rapey dude deserves what he gets.

Jingle jangle is a dumb name for a drug.

I feel like I've seen this Sweet Pea kid before. 

I don't know how I feel about Juggy and Archiekins. 

Betty might not be so willing to be Serpent adjacent if she knew Jughead slept with Serpent with the good hair. 

I would never put on a strip show in front of...well almost anyone...but definitely not in front of my mom.

I want to like Veronica more than I do. 

Cheryl man.

It was definitely not the janitor.

I think I am team Archey. Barchie? Berchie?

Typewriters are cool. 

Update, I looked it up and it's Barchie. Are we not gonna talk about this kiss?

How do we know this guy is really FBI?

I guess Archie isn't so nice since he beat up a guy with two broken legs. Although, dude deserved it.

Y'all gonna let this creep you just met move in? What?

Surely a school can't make some students wear uniforms and not others.

I just don't care about Archie and Veronica's love.

And now you have to cover up a murder. Good thing you took this guy in.

I do not like rich people.

Why is Archie so loyal to Mr. Lodge? Is he running a long con? I surely hope so.

Chic is hella creepy.

As if Jughead & his dad aren't already in enough trouble, let's ask them to help cover up a murder.

So... not FBI, as suspected.

Why does Archie have to carry everyone's bags? Carry your own stuff, people! 

Cheryl is so petty. I kind of love it.

Veronica said Bughead. Is that legit? 

Archie and Jughead should kiss.

I don't know if I can handle dominatrix Betty. They're all like 16 still, aren't they?

Moose, if you want to be a viable love interest, stop lying to Kevin.

I feel like an opportunity was missed when Veronica said 'this is like an episode of Saved by the Bell'. Why not say Beverly Hills 90210?

I like Toni.

Tell me again why we let Chic move in?

Is Mr. Andrews really qualified to be mayor?

Shankshaw?

Why in the ever loving hell would you let a creepy ass dude you've known for five minutes take two small babies out for a walk alone?

I still don't understand why they want to build a prison.

I hope Bughead destroys Varchie in this election.

Hey, it's Cassie Newton from that one episode of Buffy!

Why do people believe in conversion therapy? That is so awful.

So we're the black dot club now? 

Archie really needs to get away from the Lodge's. All three of them. I don't think he's running a long con.

Get em, Cheryl!

Hold up, is there a musical episode of Riverdale?

A Carrie musical... interesting. I like it.

Well I didn't see that ending coming. This might be one of my favorite episodes of this show so far. 

Chic isn't Betty's real brother? FP was the real baby daddy? I'm shocked. *sarcasm*

Now there's a Nancy Drew book. So maybe they don't exist in the same world.

Mr. Lodge is such a manipulative snake.

So Betty's dad is the black hood? I guess that explains his mood swings and why he holds so many grudges, but is a little bit anticlimactic since he was the main suspect at this point. Is everyone's dad a murderer or what?

Is a teenager the best person to run a gang?

Is someone under 18 allowed to manage and/or own a bar?

Is Ethel going to be president now?

I was right about Kevin getting sidelined again.

I am now officially finished with Season 2 of Riverdale. Perhaps I am thinking too much into a lot of things. This is a CW teen drama after all. Overall, season 2 was pretty good. My favorite episodes were the one where the black hood first called Betty, the Christmas episode and the musical. 

I am still not at all invested in Archie and Veronica. I do like Betty and Jughead, but I still would like to see Betty and Archie together. I attribute this mostly to the fact that I am a fan of the slow burn. However, I spent a good portion of the last part of the season being annoyed at Archie so my shipping was put on standby. I really thought there would be more of a love square than there has been so far, so I am curious as to how Archie and Betty will become a thing. I am still convinced they will. At this point I need more build up. The Christmas episode teased it, but then it was basically ignored the rest of the season.

I am ready for Hiram to be taken down. Wealthy arrogant a-holes who buy themselves out of trouble and use money to use and manipulate other people just really piss me off. Did I mention I'm not a fan of rich people?

So what's next? Well, I guess Archie will have some legal trouble to get out of. Jughead will probably get beaten up again. I probably still won't like Veronica no matter how hard I try. Betty's life will continue to be traumatic (Polly is full on cult now, right?). All of the parents will continue to be horrible, except Fred (and maybe FP). The characters will drink at least a dozen milkshakes each. And I will continue to binge this show because now I'm invested.

I Watched Season 1 of Riverdale and I Have Thoughts

Spoilers obviously.

Back in my teens and twenties, I was really into teen dramas. Dawson's Creek, Buffy, One Tree Hill, Vampire Diaries, Pretty Little Liars, The Secret Life of the American Teenager... But somewhere along the way, teen dramas and I parted ways. 

I held out on the CW (aka Teen Drama Network #1) finishing shows I'd been watching since they aired - I literally watched Supernatural for almost half of my life - but I rarely picked up new shows on the network. 

When Riverdale premiered back in 2017, I seriously considered watching it. There was a murder mystery afoot and I love a good murder mystery. But after somewhat watching the premier, I never went back. Until now.

Flash forward to 2021, here I am browsing Netflix for something to watch after finishing the newest season of Lucifer (great show) and, for whatever reason, I decide to give Riverdale a second go. To be honest, I don't even remember the first episode at all so I can't even be sure how much of it I actually watched back then.

I watched season one's 13 episode run in approximately 3 days (I am the queen of the binge watch) and now have no one to talk to about it because I know no one else who watches the show. So instead, I thought I would come here to write out my thoughts on the season and maybe make predictions for the future. 

Without further ado, here are a few thoughts I have after finishing season 1.

1. The acting is questionable. Not quite as bad as Secret Life (those were dark days, my friends), but not as good as other CW shows I've seen.

2. It is weird seeing Cole Sprouse in a serious role. I used to watch the Suite Life back in the day and that's really all I've had to go on until now.

3. Archie is a much nicer character than I thought. For some reason, I thought he was going to be more of a jerk. I don't know why.

4. What happened to Ms. Cradle Robber? Clearly she was lying about her past right? Her story arc can't be over? It felt so...unfinished. 

5. Why does almost every teen drama feature a teacher/student affair? 

6. The relationship twins have is so bizarre to me. 

7. I do not understand Cheryl. All I can figure is she is on her own side and that is all.

8. Why don't more adults call Jughead by his real name?

9. Am I supposed to be really invested in Archie and Veronica? I am not. I preferred Valerie.

10. Did anyone think Archie was genuine when he told Veronica he was only jealous of Jughead and Betty because he realized he wanted what they had with Veronica? I didn't. 

11. Jughead and Betty are kinda cute, but they got together really quickly so I'm certain it won't last.

12. Are Archie and Betty endgame like Kevin predicted? I don't hate that idea, but my ships have not been quite set in stone. Don't think I didn't catch the bit where Archie said "I always thought..." which I took to mean he always thought he and Betty would end up together. Although, he did say early on he'd never thought of Betty that way so who knows.

13. Shouldn't Kevin have been more upset his boyfriend was using him? I hope he gets a better love interest. I like when Kevin's dad asked if there were any nice gay guys at his school and he said "yeah me".

14. Speaking of Kevin, sometimes it seems like he is part of the main group and sometimes not. He might be my favorite character, he deserves more screen time. 

15. Archie's dad is the best parent on the show. I'm sad because I know he will be gone at some point since Luke Perry passed in 2019. I don't think he's going to die from his gunshot wound.

16. Is Betty going to absolutely lose it and murder someone at some point?

17. Wouldn't it have saved a lot of trouble if Betty's dad had just told his wife and daughters they were related to the Blossoms? Passing down family vendettas through generations is so unnecessary. 

18. I never thought Jughead's dad killed Jason. I was surprised that he cleaned up and dumped the body though. Why didn't he just turn Mr. Blossom in if he had that video? Why torch the car and steal the jacket just to hide a flash drive in it? Maybe I wasn't paying enough attention.

19. Why wouldn't the police have tracked down Polly to talk with her since everyone knew she and Jason were dating? Especially after they found out he was murdered.

20. Why did Jason's jacket have his name on it but Archie's doesn't?

21. Is Jughead really joining the Serpents? And if so, for what reason?

22. Is anyone else suspicious of Ethel?  

23. This exists in the same world as The Totally Bizarre Chilling Adventures of Sabrina right? Will there be magic?

24. Isn't Nancy Drew (the show) also part of this world? In one episode, Cheryl calls Betty Nancy Drew. Is that because Nancy is famous in this world? Or a writing flub?

25. Based on how much people seem to love this show - all of the actors have 20-30+ million followers each - I was surprised to find the average IMDB rating is only 6.8. 

26. I won't say this is going to be a favorite show of mine, but I will probably keep watching it.

So what are my predictions? First off, I do know a few things that happen on the show thanks to headlines and promos I've seen over the years. However, I still don't know much.

1. Archie and Betty will get together at some point.

2. Someone else we know (besides Archie's dad) will die.

3. Kevin will continue to get sidelined. Sadly.

4. Betty will have a(nother) massive meltdown.

5. Polly and her babies will leave the show somehow.

That's really all I've got for now. Let us venture into season 2 and see what awaits. I really hope it isn't 22 episodes. I much prefer shorter seasons.

It's My Body, I'll Complain if I Want To - Body Mover's Update

 As I am writing this, I have just recently discovered the next and last Body Mover's book comes out next month. It has been quite the emotional journey for me over the past 5+ years. A part of me doesn't want it to end, but another part is ready find out how it will. I am equal parts excited and nervous as we enter this final chapter. But before I talk about my hopes for the ending, I wanted to do a little recap of the past three books.

Last time I made a post about this series, the eighth book had just come out. Three more books have been released since then and I have thoughts. Recap time!

In book 9, which was the least enjoyable book of the entire series IMO, very little actually happened. It was super short, the mystery was almost non-existent, and my ship continued to sink. Hannah had joined a roller derby team and someone was trying to poison them. I don't even remember who...it was so unimportant. The main plot of the book seemed to be Carlotta reconnecting with her parents and her newly discovered sister. Somehow the elder Wrens managed to slip back into their old life, fancy house and all. Coop figured out (somehow) that Carlotta's mom didn't actually have dementia and they were able to give her medicine to make her completely coherent again. Carlotta decided she was going to date, and finally sleep with, Coop. Wesley tried and succeeded in winning Meg back. And Jack only showed up to find a MIA Prissy and remind the audience that he does in fact believe in love. The main highlight of this book was that it was revealed that Liz was legitimately crazy and had never actually been pregnant. Jack is not going to be a dad! Carlotta had a brief moment of feelings about that and, though she decided she was still choosing Coop, it took her a little too long. Coop flew the...well you get it...saying he couldn't play second fiddle to Jack anymore. Carlotta and Wesley also finally opened those Christmas gifts they'd been holding onto for 10+ years and Carlotta discovered Randolph isn't actually her dad.

In book 10, Carlotta sets off for Texas with a co-worker for some sort of expo. They have offered her a job to run a new bridal boutique offset of Neiman Marcus. While there, her co-worker is found dead in her hotel room. Carlotta calls Jack to come out and help her figure out if there was a murder (the girl was supposed to be meeting some guy the night she died), though she's been avoiding him lately because he keeps trying to talk to her and she thinks he is going to profess his love and I guess doesn't know what she is going to do about that. Jack agrees with the Texas officers that it looks like an accident. They share a moment, but Carlotta pushes Jack away when he still won't offer up details about where he lives or how he feels. He tries to come back to her room later to talk to her, but she isn't there, having snuck back into her dead co-workers room to snoop. Back home, he finally fesses up that he's been wanting to tell her...her dad isn't really her dad. She doesn't seem nearly as upset at him for not telling her that as she does that that was what he'd been wanting to talk to her about. Coop decides he's changed his mind and does still want to date Carlotta. Meg goes to Europe on vacation and then goes missing, worrying Wesley. Carlotta also quits her job when they decide to axe the boutique idea. She's tired of working in retail.

In book 11, Wesley spends most of his time trying to figure out how to get to Europe (even though he had an ankle monitor and isn't supposed to leave town, much less the country). He's peeved at Randolph who is trying to get him to become a great poker player. Randolph has opened some sort of golf place, but is secretly running not-so-legitimate poker games out of it. Wes doesn't think his dad believes in him as he scoffed at the idea of Wesley becoming a doctor someday. Meg is finally recovered after Randolph sends his caretaker to look for her. Wesley starts to forgive his dad somewhat. Carlotta is dating Coop, but spends most of the book unsure if she loves him. She also decides, after a little encouragement from Jack, that she is going to become a fashion blogger. Since her dad's old company went down, the police have been looking for Walt Tully (one of the owners) but he has been hiding out from them. Carlotta discovers he is being holed up on a houseboat in Lake Lanier. She is caught snooping and is tossed into the lake. Jack, who she previously called for help, shows up and saves her from drowning. Irritatingly, he still won't answer her questions about himself. At the end of the book Carlotta discovers her real dad is actually Walt Tully, who is now in prison. Can't catch a break in the dad department. Hannah is preggo. Oh, and Peter gets murdered in prison. Carlotta then goes to a bar and gets drunk, mourning Peter and thinking about life, and then (while still completely toasted) tells Coop she loves him and sleeps with him for the first time. Ugh. Then...THEN...like a week later they go for a picnic, Coop proposes, and she says yes of course like she didn't just spend the rest of this book trying to convince herself that she loved him. Minus 10 points.

So here we are, awaiting the final installment that is annoyingly titled 12 Bodies and a Wedding. Hopefully it's 12 Bodies and Not a Wedding.

If you've read my other blogs on this series, you know I am Team Jack. And you know I am annoyed about what has happened with his character. That annoyance has only increased as I've read these last three books. Why won't he just tell Carlotta where he lives? When she showed up at Lake Lanier to look for Walt I thought 'this is it...this is the moment she finds out where Jack lives', but no. 

And then she's gonna marry Coop after 5 minutes because she's suddenly decided she loves him? After her ex dies? After she has to get drunk to tell him she loves him and sleep with  him? After Jack once again doesn't tell her how he feels? Yeah, this is totally legit. You should definitely marry someone you weren't even sure you wanted as your boyfriend last week. I don't know if we are supposed to believe in their love, but I don't. Not at all. 

The author did post a bonus scene on the fan Facebook page from Jack's POV. He was visited at work by Marigold (Coma Girl) after hearing the news about Carlotta's engagement. Marigold encouraged him to tell Carlotta how he feels because her husband was once engaged to the wrong person too. He says he isn't sure but agrees to think about it.

Now listen, I have obviously been waiting for 10 books now for Jack to confess his feelings. If he doesn't in this final book, I am going to be unbelievably peeved. And I expect there to be a good reason for his silence too. I posted my theory in one of the other blogs and I hope I am close to right. I hope the author doesn't just try to write him off as a commitment-phobe who shies away from love for no good reason at all. I have waited this long and expect a great confession scene. And he better not freaking die.

So what are my hopes for this final book?

First, as previously stated, I hope Carlotta and Coop do not get married. I hope Jack finally confesses his feelings and that Carlotta realizes she is still in love with him and they end up together. 

Carlotta will decide that even though Randolph isn't her biological father that he is still her dad and screw that other guy. 

Carlotta will also continue to thrive at her newfound job and will become an official contracted helper of the APD.

Wesley will finally get out from under his dad and go to college.

Hannah stops being so judgy, Chance goes to jail and her a Coop fall in love and raise her child together. (Yes, I realize this one is a bit far fetched and probably definitely won't happen but these are my wishes okay?)

Prissy just keeps being herself because she's the best.

Until next time, when I will write up my thoughts on the end of this series that has consumed my thoughts for 5+ years. Keep a good thought and several fingers crossed for me.

Body Movers 8- What Happens in Vegas...

So let me start by saying that I knew Liz was a scummy bitch all along!

I mostly enjoyed the 8th installment of the Body Movers series, which saw Carlotta and the gang venturing to Las Vegas for a fun and uneventful vacation. Just kidding.

To summarize: Carlotta and Peter head off to Vegas for a "romantic getaway". Peter has to work some while they are there and Carlotta secretly hopes to sneak off to investigate a clue she found about her family. Wesley heads up to meet them, with Hannah and Chance in tow, determined to gamble away part of the 250k he found stashed in the walls of their townhouse.

At dinner that first night, Peter proposes again. With the pressure from everyone watching and after convincing herself this is what she wants, Carlotta says yes. Afterwards, she thinks maybe she and Peter will finally have sex but their plans are spoiled when she finds a dead body in their hotel room safe. But it's not just any dead body. It's that creepy hot guy from next door. (The one who Carlotta previously thought was spying on her.) She calls Jack Terry for help even though she is determined to get over him. She's been giving herself a good bracelet snap every time she thinks of him. Jack heads up with Coop to examine the body.

They find out this guy was in the FBI and had been hired to watch Carlotta and Wesley in case their mother showed up. He had asthma and accidentally suffocated in the safe. Jack also informs Carlotta that her father was stabbed in prison and is in critical condition.

Wesley, who manages to get a fake ID and play a few games in the casino, get arrested for using counterfeit money. As it happens, all of the money he found in the townhouse is fake. Which is unfortunate for him because he also paid off his loan shark with that money. He finds out from Chance that the Carver has now put out a hit on him and that his parole officer's boyfriend, who also works for the Carver, is in town. He calls Liz, who comes out to Vegas to help him, but he refuses to tell her or anyone else where he really got the money.

Carlotta and Hannah stake out a post office where her dad has a box and then follow the man who picks up the mail from it. When they arrive at his house, Carlotta meets a little girl name Priscilla. She goes inside and is surprised to see her mother. The man informs her that he is their caretaker while her father is gone. He doesn't know Randolph was arrested. Carlotta discovers that her mother has early onset dementia and that the little girl is really her sister. She decides to bring them back to Atlanta and has Coop come take a look at her mother to see if she is able to travel.

While spending the day with her sister, Carlotta runs into Jack and Liz. Jack seems good with Priscilla, which surprises Carlotta. He then secretly follows them back to her mom's because he is uber suspicious. Since he's not supposed to be involved in her dad's case, Jack is not happy about finding out about her mother's whereabouts. But he agrees not to tell anyone.

Wes finally confesses to Carlotta where he found the money and they conclude that their father had stolen the money on purpose from the company he worked for to prove they were counterfeiting, but had been accused and arrested before he could show it to the police (or something?). Wesley also finds out from Mouse (his partner in the collection business) that a woman hired someone to try and kill his father in prison.

For some reason, Carlotta automatically thinks it was Hannah (who has, admittedly, been acting squirrelly but that's your best friend gosh) and is worried because Hannah knows where her mother is. She calls Jack and asks him to meet her at her moms. But it's not Hannah who is holding a gun to her mother and sister. No. It's Liz. The bitch! Apparently, she had all of her money invested with the company Randolph worked for and they would be bankrupted if the truth about the counterfeiting came out. She was not having that. So she demanded to know where the rest of the stolen money was so it could be destroyed. Also, she planned to start a fire in the house to kill all witnesses.

Luckily, they are able to stop her and get everyone out of the house before it burns. Jack arrives and arrests Liz. Later, back at the hotel, Carlotta tells Peter she can't marry him and never should have said yes. (Well, duh.) We find out he knew about the counterfeiting and plot to frame Carlotta's dad. Jack arrives and arrests Peter as well. Then Carlotta, who has been reunited with her dad (who did not die and who has been released and exonerated), heads back to Atlanta with her family. It is also revealed that Coop is still waiting for Carlotta and she thinks she should end up with him. Which, no. And Hannah and Chance secretly got married.


I'm very happy that Liz and Peter have both been arrested because they are the worst. I do find it a bit odd that Carlotta wasn't more upset with Peter for knowing the truth about her dad and not saying anything. Which, maybe he hadn't known for long but then who was he talking to on the phone? It doesn't really make sense but I don't care too much because he's seemingly out of the picture.

I'm not certain what will happen to Liz but I kind of hope she gets at least 20 years. The only downside to her being arrested is Jack is going to have to take care of their baby on his own.

Side rant- I know I addressed this in my last blog about this series but I find it completely unnecessary for Jack to be the father of Liz's baby. It seems like the author was just trying to find a way to drive a wedge between Carlotta and Jack. In my opinion, Jack has been the front runner from the beginning and now, 8 1/2 books later, Carlotta is totally over him and going to run off with Coop? I'm pretty peeved about the whole situation. I was especially irritated in the way Carlotta said she was in love with Jack but it only took her a week to get over it? The whole thing is stupid.

I will be even more pissed if she and Jack both act like they don't have feelings for each other anymore after this book. In Coma Girl, as mentioned, Jack said he was in love with Carlotta. And he doesn't strike me as the type to easily fall in and out of love. I feel like we've had this character development with Jack, he's started to open up to Carlotta and even came close to admitting his feelings to her. Taking all of that away now is like a painful reminder of the How I Met Your Mother finale in which Barney regressed back to his old self. It made all of his previous development pointless. Lest I get started talking about that mess.

I feel like it's been built up so much...his house boat...his family...his feelings... If Carlotta doesn't ever get the chance to find out about any of this, if they don't ever have an emotional conversation... Then what was the point of any of it? Why bring it up if it won't be resolved? Are we supposed to believe that Jack is always just going to be a man-whore commitment-phobe who will forever be alone? That's bullshit to the extreme. End of rant.

This book in general seemed a little rushed and a lot of the characters weren't acting like themselves. Like, I know Jack is in a different position now but not one single inappropriate comment? Carlotta really wants to have sex with Peter even though she suspects him of treachery? Hannah marries Chance when half of the time it seems like she doesn't even like him?

I read this book in a couple of hours but it was quite a bit shorter than the others in the series. We sped through the plot and I feel like a lot was wrapped up in a very short amount of time.

I am also confused as to why Carlotta's parents left and more importantly why they were gone so long. I know people were trying to kill Randolph but why not take your kids with you? And everyone seems to have forgiven him but I'm not over it. He left his 19 year old to raise his 9 year old for 10 years. Like, damn dude.

I did like Carlotta's sister and I think it's cute that she's crushing on Jack. I think the way he interacts with her further proves he will be a good father. I'm excited to see more of her in the future. She seems like she could be a handful. At least Randolph is out of prison now and can take care of her and Valerie.

I am not digging the idea of Hannah and Chance getting married. First off, Chance is an immature loser. Second, I want Hannah and Coop to be together. Although, it looks like that ship has sailed. Ugh.

Wesley was actually less annoying in this book than all previous books so that was an improvement. Maybe now that his daddy is back he will stop acting like a petulant child.

Here's for hoping the next book doesn't crush my heart and soul.

No Body to Blame But Me- A Blog About My Most Recent Obsession: Body Movers

Do you ever find yourself getting overly attached to fictional characters? Yes, well this happens to me quite frequently. If you've listened to Two Peaches in a Podcast (on iTunes...b/c shameless self promotion...) then you may have heard me talking about my most recent fictional obsession: the Body Movers series by Stephanie Bond. 

It all began on a cold and rainy day (I do not remember the weather conditions) when I was perusing the book section at Goodwill. They say to never judge a book by its cover but that is exactly what I do. I pick up books that look interesting to me and then decide, based on a few short paragraphs on the back (or inside if that's how they wanna play it), if I think it's something I will be interested in. When I saw the bright yellow book sitting on the shelf, I just had to pick it up. Plus, with a name like Body Movers, I figured it had to be something good. Here is what I read:

Carlotta Wren's life hasn't turned out as she'd planned. She didn't plan for her parents to skip bail for a white-collar crime, leaving her to raise her brother. She didn't plan on having the silver spoon ripped from her mouth and forgoing college to work retail. She didn't plan on her blue-blood fiancé dumping her. And she didn't plan on still being single ten years later, working at Neiman Marcus, with no idea where her fugitive parents are.

She's coping. Until…

…her lovable brother is arrested, and the hunky cop decides to reopen her parents' case.

…her brother becomes a body mover for the morgue and his sexy boss gets Carlotta involved.

…her former fiancé's wife is murdered, fingering Carlotta.


With three men in her life, Carlotta has added motivation to help bag a murderer to keep her own well-dressed body from being next on the list!

I used to read Nancy Drew a lot as a kid and I've always had a soft spot for a good mystery. So I purchased this book, clueless as to what awaited me. 

A few months later, after finishing my most recent Sophie Kinsella book (love those!), I began browsing my bookshelves for something else to read. I came upon Body Movers and decided yes, I am in the mood for a sexy mystery!

I was about halfway through the book when I begun to realize that there were a lot of unanswered questions and I couldn't help but wonder how they were all going to be answered. Becoming suspicious, I Googled Body Movers and much to my surprise, I discovered I was reading book one of an ongoing series. I was not ready for this kind of commitment. But it was too late! At the end of book one, I headed to the Kindle store to purchase book 2. It spiraled from there.

So here I am, finished with book 7 and waiting for the next installment. The trouble is, there is no set release date and these books have been coming out sporadically over the past 10 years. What is a girl to do?!

My obsession with the characters and their stories had just begun to subside, sure to be replaced by my next great read (or the return of any of my TV ships) when Stephanie Bond found a sneaky way to drag me back in. I've never read a serial novel before, but in case you were wondering, it is just as frustrating as TV shows and the podcast Serial. I discovered in mid-July that Ms. Bond had begun releasing a daily serial called Coma Girl. Beginning July 1st, she has released a new chapter each day and will continue to do so through December 31st. If you're impatient like me, you can purchase a whole month's worth of chapters on the 1st of each month.

Coma Girl is the story of...you guessed it...a girl in a coma. She can't move or speak or even open her eyes, but she can hear everything that goes on around her. It's a little bit mystery, little bit sad family tale but now I'm hooked. But what makes matters worse (or better, depending on how you look at it) is one of my favorite Body Movers characters makes an appearance. Just when I thought I was moving on...

And since I am now re-obsessed, and will be until at least the new year, I figured I would lay out all of my thoughts and theories.

If you have not read the Body Movers or Coma Girl series, turn back now! Spoilers ahead! Additionally, this review is very biased towards certain characters so expect nothing less.

Let's first get our main characters straight:

Carlotta Wren- Fashionista. Magnet for trouble. 

Wesley Wren- Gambling addict. Needs to grow up.

Detective Jack Terry- Tactless but caring. Commitment-phobe. 

Dr. Cooper Craft- Recovering alcoholic. Nice guy.

Peter Ashford- Richie Rich. Kinda pathetic.

Hannah Kizer- Best friend. Goth.

Liz Fischer- Harlot. 

For info on other characters (or less biased descriptions of those listed above) go here: Body Movers Characters

Months have passed since I finished the last Body Movers book so a lot of the specifics have faded from my brain, leaving only those moments I loved and hated the most. But that's normally how it goes right? Here's my rundown of what's happened:

Carlotta and Wesley's parents left after her dad was accused of some sort of crime. Embezzlement maybe? Doesn't matter. Wesley was only 9 at the time so Carlotta, only 18ish, had to raise him on her own. Their family had lost all of its money so she wasn't able to go to college. Also, her first love, Peter, broke up with her.

It's 10 years later and Carlotta is struggling to make ends meat. Wesley isn't making things any easier, walking around with a chip on his shoulder and wracking up gambling debts. The books really begin with Wesley getting arrested for breaking into courthouse records. He's become obsessed with finding out about his parents and proving his dad's innocence. 

In book one, Peter is arrested for murdering his wife, who is also one of Carlotta's customers at Neimen Marcus. She and Peter reconnect and he admits he never stopped loving her and his parents made him dump her (with threat of taking away his trust fund probably). Carlotta meets Detective Jack Terry, her brother's arresting officer, and dislikes him, and his ugly tie, immediately. He's a bit tactless and makes a lot of innuendos, but does seem to genuinely care about the Wrens.Wesley meanwhile gets a job as a body mover for the morgue, helping Doctor Cooper Craft. Coop crushes on Carlotta immediately but she's pretty stuck up Peter's butt so doesn't really seem to notice.Turns out Peter did not kill his wife (damn it). Also, Carlotta's dad calls her at the end of the book. She hasn't heard anything from him, besides the occasional postcard, in 10 years.

In book two, Carlotta's identity is stolen by a woman who later commits suicide. After this makes headlines (and all three men spend a few hours thinking Carlotta is dead), the DA decides to use this to lure Randolph Wren out of hiding. Just in case the senior Mr. Wren decides to show, Jack Terry posts up at Carlotta's house for a few days whilst she's pretending to be dead. It doesn't take long for things to heat up. Wesley gets involved with Liz, his father's ex-mistress and lawyer, and into further trouble with loan sharks. I think this is about when Wesley meets Meg, a girl his own age (Liz is like 40) who works with him at his probationary job. Carlotta's dad does come to her fake funeral but in disguise so they don't catch him. Turns out her co-worker Michael was the killer and he gets arrested. Oh, and Peter proposes. 

In book three, Carlotta ventures off to Florida with Coop on a body recovery mission. Wesley secretly tags along and proceeds to steal the body they are after to help pay off some of his debts. (Yeah, it's weird.) Coop finally makes his move but they are interrupted by Wesley. What Carlotta doesn't tell Coop is that the real reason she came to Florida was to find her dad. Jack had told her he'd been spotted but wouldn't let her go with him (he took Liz, ugh) to find Randolph. Carlotta does see her dad who claims to be innocent before getting away.

In book four, a serial killer is on the loose. They call him the Charmed Killer because he leave charms in and around all of his victims. Carlotta is torn between all three men (what else is new) but ends up in bed with Jack again after nearly being blown up. Jack has a new partner, Detective Maria Marquez, who is lovely and exotic of course. Wesley is now doing oxy and acting a fool as per usual. Coop is acting strange. Peter finally convinces Carlotta to move in with him temporarily until they catch Michael, who has escaped the psych ward. 

In book five, the Charmed Killer is still on the loose. Carlotta is living with Peter but try as they might, they just can't seem to have sex. Jack calls every night almost to chat (sometimes about the case, sometimes not). Coop is acting even stranger, getting drunk and making out with women in public. Wesley really likes Meg but is still sleeping with Liz and doing drugs and cleaning up after a loan shark. Towards the end of the book, Coop is arrested after the woman he was making out with turns up dead. HE IS THE CHARMED KILLER! So say the police.

In book six, Carlotta is determined to prove that Coop is not, in fact, the Charmed Killer. Which she does eventually manage to do. Turns out it was the current medical examiner who framed Coop because he was a hater or something. But they did not discover this until after Coop was released on house arrest and Maria is killed. Jack is peeved at Carlotta, since she was the one to get Coop out of jail (until they discover Coop was not the killer). But Carlotta also figures out that it was Maria's husband who killed her, not the charmed killer. And Coop was acting weird because of a woman he'd almost killed one time. Wesley finally gets clean, thanks to the loan shark's flunkies but finds out Liz is preggo and consequently loses Meg. Also, Carlotta's dad came to her rescue when the CK tried to K her. Sadness for him though because Jack arrived before he could leave and arrested him. 

In book seven, Carlotta is bummed her dad is an jail and has decided she should take a break from all three men after everything that's happened lately. She gets assigned to run a Perfect Man booth at a wedding expo for work. Jack, who has been put on brief suspension for getting too close to the case, gets a gig doing security at the same event (convenient). Someone is murdered of course and Carlotta sets out on the case. Jack begins acting down and out and try as they might, they can't stay away from each other. After an incredible night together ("Something had shifted.") Carlotta realizes that she is in love with Jack (yay!) and he comes close to admitting he loves her too. She decides to break things off with Peter once and for all. Carlotta also visits her dad in prison and he still claims he's innocent but won't reveal where her mom is. Coop has a new kind-of girlfriend, Wesley discovers he is not the father of Liz's baby and Carlotta helps crack the case! But then, just as you think things will be okay, we find out Jack is in fact the father. Cue my tears.

There I was, finished with what exists of the series and saddened at this uncalled for turn of events. But I pushed through and read more Stephanie Bond books (rewarding her for bad behavior!). So when I discovered Coma Girl, I added it to my list. Imagine my surprise and delight when Detective Terry arrived at that hospital. We discover more facts about him that give me some hope for the future. 

This next bit will be confusing if you haven't read any of these books. Just FYI.

Here's my theory about Jack Terry (thanks in large part to Coma Girl): I think Jack was in love once with a girl name Serena but something bad happened to her. She died most likely. And since, he's distanced himself from women emotionally. It's been all about no strings attached, casual sex. And it's worked out fine until now. I think Carlotta is the first woman Jack has really cared about in a long time and fear kept him from admitting it. He didn't take her to the dinner because he didn't want to get close to her. Same with Florida. But he still can't seem to stay away and hates the thought of her being with anyone else.

He didn't tell her where he lived because he knew she was more than a hookup. He kept saying he couldn't throw his hat in the ring because I think on some level he doesn't feel good enough for her. He knows he's somewhat emotionally unavailable and damaged and can't be her Prince Charming. As Carlotta put it, he's sexily imperfect. But does that mean he's not perfect for her? I think he is.

The baby thing obviously puts a damper on a blossoming relationship and ticks me off to no end! WHY, STEPHANIE, WHY?! But perhaps it's only a roadblock. A literary plot device to keep Carlotta from her happily ever after until the last book. BUT...

Keep in mind that in book 7, Liz tells Wesley that the baby can't be his because she is too far along. SO...she would have to have been preggo before book 2, which means she didn't get knocked up after Carlotta and Jack slept together. Given, that doesn't mean Jack didn't sleep with Liz after Carlotta BUT IT COULD MEAN THAT! He kept saying he and Liz were just friends so maybe they really didn't hook up after he was with Carlotta. I know he's still having a baby with someone else (who has now slept with like every guy Carlotta knows) but at least he didn't conceive the child after being with her. Which is a little better anyway. Listen, #TeamJack I don't care what you say.

My worry is that Coop is going to swoop in at the end and get the girl. It's happened before (Southern Vampire Mysteries anyone?). And she does seem jealous of him with other women. Plus they've had a few missed moments. But really, I think it would be better for them to stay friends and that's all. I know it makes me sound like a shipper whose boat sprung a leak, but I would actually like to see Coop with Hannah. She's liked him from day one and I feel like they would have the whole opposites attract thing going on. Plus, Carlotta is kind of a jerk for blowing off Hannah's feelings for Coop. I get you can't make people like you, or stop people from liking you, but damn. If I'd had the opportunity to date the guy my best friend liked, I wouldn't on principal alone. Maybe that's just me.

I'm not too worried about Peter because he is literally an annoying pest. In every book, I just wish Carlotta would permanently dump him and he would trot off to New York and never look back. He's a bit pathetic, as I think I mentioned before, and I'm like dude, just let it go. You effed up. Deal with it.

Until the end of book 7, Jack was the obvious front runner. Despite the push-pull of their relationship, he's the one who most often had the biggest effect on Carlotta. And now, especially after Coma Girl, we know he's not just playing her. We know he loves her. And we know he doesn't want to lose her.

I hope that we will continue to discover more about Jack Terry in upcoming Coma Girls and Body Movers 8, which I'm praying comes out sooner rather than later so I don't lose my fangirl mind. I think there's a lot more to learn and I just want Carlotta to know everything! Also I want to know everything. I should write Stephanie and suggest a book from Jack's point of view.

As far as other characters...

Liz is the worst, no doubt, but I would actually kind of like to see a scene with her and Carlotta where they just talk everything out. I want them to come to an understanding. And I want Liz to encourage Carlotta to choose Jack because they obviously love each other. Then Liz can find herself an age appropriate husband and little Terry can have two step parents who love him or her and all will be right with the world. Just sayin.

I'm really tired of Wesley's crap at this point. I know he's only 19 but he acts like a six year old half of the time. His sister did so much for him and he keeps screwing her over and getting her caught up in his mess. He may be book smart but as far as making adult decisions goes, he is a certified dumbass. Maybe Meg can straighten him up but sheesh. I could do with less Wesley in general.

Hannah should just keep being Hannah, except she really needs to get on the Jack bandwagon. I know she's looking out for her friend but like...pot meet kettle. At least Jack doesn't sleep with married women. 

A part of me wishes I had never found this series (this is the impatient and irritable part) but another is glad I picked it up off of the Goodwill shelves and made it part of my life. 

So there you go...my thoughts on Body Movers. I'm not sure most of that made sense but I feel better now that I've gotten it off my chest. 

If, for some reason, you read this blog without reading the books and are now intrigued, I would recommend them. Now, do not go into this thinking it will be the best thing you ever read or that it won't be a little bit cheesy and a lot of bit unrealistic. It is what it is. But I like it and look forward to more.